People always say most dating app users are legit trash, but I wasn’t sure how true this saying holds and decided to give it a shot.
I met this 28Y.O. girl (let’s call her Claire, not her real name though) through a dating app and things hit off quite nicely until 2 months later I feel that I can’t continue dating her anymore due to her extremely rich past relationship history. As I’m quite open to share my past with Claire, I also tried to get her to share with me about her past, but she was very hesitant to do so even after we began to date each other exclusively.
It turns out that her most recent relationship that ended a few months ago was surprisingly 7 year long. They both pretty much did everything couples or I would say husband/wife do, such as wedding proposal plans, BTO application (was waiting for approval), sharing a joint bank account, etc. For the past few days I tried to avoid showing her my unpleasant response for such news but it wasn’t easy.
In one of our conversations, she mentioned that she would like to get married by 30 or latest early 30’s like 31. Given her current situation, assuming if things work out just fine for us, that means I have to propose to her in like 1 year time, since wedding preparation can take up quite a lot of time, and BTO definitely has to be done as soon as possible.
Honestly speaking I feel that she is a nice woman with a good personality, good career, respectful, gentle, and what matters most is we can click really well with very little to no argument at all. She’s not exactly very pretty or hot, but surely a wife material for what I’ve observed so far. Despite all that, I’m really quite bothered by her past. There were times I asked how she can get married with me if we have only been together for a short period of time, but she can’t do that with her ex of 7 years. She did reveal the reasons why they didn’t end up getting married, like difference in views in life, major difference in interests, he isn’t career driven, so on and so forth.
At some point I also feel that a huge part of her youth had been given to someone else, and right now when she no longer has market value and wants to settle down asap, she seems like an abandoned piece of trash to me. On the other hand I discussed this with my close friends and they all also discouraged me from continue dating her. One even said “her ex just used up 25% of her life, that’s also the most precious moment for a girl, rn she has no value and just want to quickly find a guy to settle down, you better not be the victim ah”.
I’m just ranting but I’m open to all kinds of comments/advices. Thanks guys.