Why am I the a**hole for not caring about my bestfriend’s passing?
Early this year, my bestfriend passed away from a very horrible car accident. But here’s the thing, first thing I asked was how it happened. And according to his other friends, he was drunk driving.
I didn’t shed a single tear nor feel sad about him passing. At all.
Cause here’s the thing, I told him to quit drinking and driving. Not just me, his family, colleagues, other friends, all told him to stop.
My bestfriend got into at least 11 accidents for the past decade. 6 of which nearly took his life.
So when he actually passed away, and the cause was drunk driving, why should I feel anything really?
I did attended the funeral. I didn’t cry at all. I didn’t feel sad. But most of all, I didn’t say anything negative to him nor to anyone. I really want to but I’m just being respectful at that time.
But people, up until today say “Why you didn’t cry? He’s your bestfriend. How dare you not cry for him” like????
I mean it’s his own fault. He was warned way too many times and he didn’t care. So why should I care?
Some people try to “relate” to me by saying things like “I know you’re crying inside, it’s okay if you don’t want to show”. Like, no. I don’t feel sad at all. Like I said stfu already.
So how am I the a**hole?
Here are what netizens think:
- Different people handle grieve differently doesn’t mean they don’t care any less. The ones who very dramatic are to watch out for I think. Anyway you did your part.
- Just be yourself. Why do you need to bother what others say. Shut those toxic people off. Whether you are sad or happy about your best friend passing is non of their problem and you don’t have to be dramatic trying please anyone by showing off your emotion eg. angry, crying etc
- Yea I wouldn’t feel sorry if I was in your position as well. It’s not your fault that he chose to drink and drive. You have every right to feel the way u feel and if others are trying to tell u how u should feel, tell them to bugger off.
- I think you are just grieving differently from the rest. Likely it’s your anger in you (that he didn’t listen, the what if etc) that holds back your grief for him. So if you let go of those feelings, you probably can let it out better. I am sure you do miss him in your own way. Take care.