Walaneh, I really cannot tahan this kind of logic.
I have this one friend, let’s call him “Huat Huat.” Every time we meet, this guy is wearing that thick-ass gold Pi-Xiu bracelet. You know the one—black obsidian beads, gold-plated mythical beast on top, supposedly to “attract wealth” and “keep the money from flowing out.”
The irony is so thick you can cut it with a prata knife.
This guy is literally the definition of POOR AF. His bank account is basically a transit station—money goes in, then immediately disappears like it’s scared of him. But he still has the cheek to tell me, “Bro, ever since I wore this Pi-Xiu, I feel my ‘Qi’ is different. Luck is coming soon.”
LUCK COMING SOON YOUR KEPALA.
No amount of magical ornaments or 24K feng shui items is going to save you if you spend money like tap water flowing during a PUB leak. His financial planning is basically “Hope and Pray,” but his lifestyle is “Baller on a Budget.”
The worst part? To date, he still has the face to keep PM-ing me to lend him money. And for what? To buy grocery? No. To pay rent? No.
He wants to “Hang Flower” (Diao Hua) for Pub/Disco girls. Imagine being so delusional:
- Buy a wealth-attracting bracelet.
- Go to a pub.
- Throw money you don’t have at a girl who doesn’t know your name.
- Borrow money from friends because the Pi-Xiu “hasn’t activated yet.”
Common sense is not common, guys. If the Pi-Xiu really worked, the jeweler selling it would have retired to Sentosa Cove already instead of selling it to you for $88 on Shopee.
Stop buying gold-plated animals and start tracking your expenses, please. Your Pi-Xiu is crying, and so is my wallet every time I see your name pop up on WhatsApp.
TL;DR: Friend is broke, buys wealth bracelet, continues to waste money on nightlife, asks me for “investments” to support his simping. Sian.