I wish I never became a father. It ruined my life.
My wife and I used to be so happy. 8 years ago we were newlyweds, deeply in love and loved traveling and were enjoying life. Then she got pregnant. We were overjoyed. My son was born. Then two years later we had twin boys. It only got worse as time went on.
My son has a lot of anger and behavioral issues. This has pretty much only gotten worse as he’s gotten older. I’ve had to work two jobs for 3 years now to be able to afford therapy for him.
We’ve had to have him move preschools and schools multiple times. Really all he’s done since he’s been born is make my wife and I miserable.
Just the other day I came home after working a total of 15 hours at two jobs and I said “Hey son.” and do you know what he said to me? “F you dad.”
After I came home for a long day working hard to put food on the table and pay for all of his behavior therapy on the off chance that he’ll become a functioning adult someday. After I circled my block 4 fucking times because I was dreading coming home like every other day.
I got up in his face and I said, “You know what? F you too.” Then walked off and took a shower and went to bed. I don’t even feel bad. He treats my wife, his brothers and myself badly 99% of the time while we all coddle his meltdowns and try to be loving and supportive of him like the shrinks say.
As for the twins they aren’t as hateful or troublesome but are both on the autism spectrum so that’s definitely made things harder too.
As much as I love them they have some really annoying quirks and other habits probably from being on the spectrum I don’t know. But it’s typical for them to run around playing and screaming while my oldest son has a meltdown.
We’ve never been able to go anywhere and have a good time as a family. One of the kids (usually) my oldest always messes it up.
I don’t know how my wife does this all day while I’m at work. She’s a better person than I am but I think it’s starting to hit her. I caught her up one night when I got home late just sitting in bed crying.
Our children as much as we might love them are ruining our lives and straining our marriage. We haven’t gotten intimate in almost 4 months.
Reading this you’re probably thinking I’m a bad dad and honestly you’re probably right. Not once have I ever done anything for any of these three that’s actually helped them.
All I know how to do is work myself to death and make money. My own dad left when I was a baby and my siblings were toddlers and preschoolers.
I always hated him for that but after the last few years especially, I get it. Everything I’ve ever heard about the man has been bad. He was a shit dad like me except he decided to walk out.
I’m not gonna walk out like he did I could never do that to my wife but to be honest I don’t hate my own father as much as I used to after the last handful of years.