A story was recently shared online and it shows how common cheating is regardless of married or just BF/GF status. Having a pregnant wife does not seem to stop a player from cheating.
Here is the story:
I recently just stepped out of a toxic relationship. Tom (not real name) is a married man with a newborn daughter. And I’m attached, in a three-year relationship. I met Tom on an online game more than a year ago and didn’t know he was married.
We grew closer and have a lot common topic. We enjoyed chatting with each other. Slowly, I found myself developing feelings for him. At the same time, my current boyfriend wasn’t giving me much attention and I was a little lonely and upset. I turned myself to Tom, and realized I enjoyed playing the game with him a lot. I knew that he was much older than me, and his thinking was much more mature then everyone else around me. After a few months of playing together, we admitted we have feelings for each other and slowly proceed to something more.
We would voice call each other, saying all kind of sweet and loving words to one another. I have never agreed to meet him in real life, because I was afraid what would happen once we were to meet. One month into this ‘relationship’, he told me he was married, and that he and his wife was expecting a daughter soon. I was heartbroken at first, but I was in love with him.
He knew that I was attached since the beginning as well. We both tried to ignore the fact we each have own partners, and he have his family… It was ok at the beginning. It was our secret, and nobody else knew. This carried on for a few more months. However, I found myself very guilty. Guilty of betraying my partner trust, guilty of being a third person in someone else relationship. I tried to leave Tom, but it was hard to. He would always tried to talk me out of it, by assuring me what we had was special and nobody else would understand, and that we don’t need people’s validation on our ‘special’ relationship. And so I listened to him, keeping our online relationship a secret for another few more months. It tormented me so much but I couldn’t speak to anyone about it.
I don’t know when it started, but I was disgusted at myself. I hated myself for it, to the point I had to resort to self-harm. Maybe it was a way of punishing myself. One day, a senior manager at work had to take leave to spend some time with his expecting wife. My first thought was happy for him. But I suddenly felt disgusted, I had the urge to vomit.
I ran to the washroom and cried, thinking; how could Tom be fooling around with me this whole time when his wife was spending her days in hospital and preparing to give birth to their daughter? And those nights when we would call each other, while the wife and daughter was sleeping in another room. It was like a mental breaking point for me. I couldn’t eat well, nor sleep well.
My own relationship was deteriorating. I was spiralling. It took me a while, before I had the courage to put an end to it and call it off with him. He wasn’t happy, of course, but it’s best for us both. Perhaps if the circumstances was different, we could have been true soul mates, two-person who truly understand and love one another.
I hope if there’s anyone who faced the similar situation as me quickly gets out of these toxic relationship before it gets worse…Not only it will hurt the people around you, but it will also hurt your own mental health.