I’m going to leave my boyfriend because he refuses to work less
My boyfriend (26m) and I (26f) have been together for 3 years now. We have had a rocky relationship as I was fresh from a divorce when I met him.
After the first year, we kind of got our footing and the chemistry we shared was unlike anything I’d had before. By year 2, we moved in together. It’s been 15 months living together now and I am the loneliest I have ever been.
He started a new position when we first moved in together and quickly advanced with the company. He did so by working multiple 10-12 hour days every week, and working half days on Saturday.
He thinks if he keeps up the pace, he can have enough savings to buy investment properties and live off passive income within the next 3 years.
It’s a cool plan for someone who is diligent enough to do it, and i have no doubts he can. But he’s literally killing his body in the process.
He has had multiple abscesses start appearing all over his body, he is vomiting every morning, he sleeps 5 hours a night and i can see the tiredness in his eyes.
I have tried being a voice of reason, telling him to go to the doctor and to please just work a few less hours a week.
He’s in finance so it’s not like a life or death situation. He refuses to listen to me, that he knows best and that the time he spends working is worth it all.
I’ve also tried telling him lately how bad my eating disorder has been lately. He is refusing to listen when I say I need more one on one time with him and genuine connection with him.
Even with my asking, he continues with either his never ending working or he goes to hang out with his brother.
Last night our issues came to a head, and i couldn’t stay quiet. He went to a beautiful restaurant, alone, and i ate ramen at home.
He got home, and went straight to his emails. I said “wow can’t even say how was your day?” And he fired back immediately.
He said some pretty harsh stuff and I won’t say I’m innocent with my word choices, but he basically said “I’m giving everything I can to you, if you need more then go find it”.
and I think that’s when it hit me that I’m done trying to fight for him. It won’t change. He can not prioritize me the same way I do for him.
This morning (a Saturday), he went straight to work at 6am, and finished at noon. He then went out to eat with his brother.
I just wanted to get it off my chest that I hope he does become the successful man he dreams to be. And I hope I find the love of a partner that values emotional connection as much as i do.