My wife’s disability is wearing me down
My (38m) wife (42f) and I have been together 18 years. She was a type 1 diabetic since 7 years old and has developed osteoporosis very young.
She’s been warned about this impending danger since before I met her and had done absolutely nothing to address it. She eats absolute trash, and the only thing she considers when choosing her diet is what she is “craving.”
She routinely runs out of necessary vitamins and meds for long periods and doesn’t tell anyone because she “didn’t think they were helping.”
She’s incredibly weak, which has led to her disqualifying herself from pretty much every chore imaginable. Because she does no chores, she never gets stronger, only weaker.
2 weeks ago she, for some unfathomable reason, decided to shimmy into a tiny space sideways instead of walking around the obstacle, stepped in a weird way and got a relatively small break in her tibia that is going to make her non weight bearing for at least another two months.
Her arms are so weak that she can’t use a crutches or a walker to get to the bathroom. My house has too many narrow passages for a wheelchair and I’m having to physically carry her to where she needs to go.
She can’t make it to the bathroom so I’m having to set up a special toilet chair by the bed, which she can stand up and pivot to, and I’m dealing with emptying that many times a day.
When I take her to the doctor I’m having to lift her out of a wheelchair and into the car. When she has to navigate stairs I’m having to carry her up them. I’m preparing all her meals and keeping her supplied with water, and managing her medicine.
Every morning I’m having to argue with her to at least get out of bed. She just wants to lay in the dark all day and literally do nothing.
So far I’ve got her out every day after tense morning stand off, but she’s still averaging 22 hours a day in that bed. She’s supposed to be getting up and practising walking with the walker or the crutches but she’s always “too sore” or “will start tomorrow.”
Even before this injury things were obviously messed up. As far as our bedroom activities goes, she only handle anything for a few minutes before she has to stop.
Her arms get tired, her neck gets sore, everything gets sore way too fast for any of us to finish, so I don’t even get that anymore.
Now with the leg, everything even that is impossible. I’m not sure what I hope to achieve with this post, but I just felt like I had to voice my frustrations somewhere. I don’t let her see them because I know she’s worse off than me right now.