My fiancé had an abortion without me knowing
I’m at a dinner with family right now but stepped out for a quick second to vent to you guys while I smoke a cigarette.
My fiancé had an abortion three weeks without saying anything and I kind of feel terrible. Aside from breaking the honesty and trust we have, I would have liked to know what she was going through to have been there for her.
And I would have loved to have a kid even though it’s not the ideal time, but I understand we may have had indifferences and ultimately she’s the only one who can decide what she’d like to do.
But I would have liked to have talked about it or at least taken into consideration given we’ve been together for several years.
I’m not sure how to approach her about this because when she told me I just kind of took the news and didn’t react or respond much about my perspective on everything just because I wanted more time to process how I feel.
Here’s the thing.
For whatever reason she didn’t feel she could tell you before.
Now none of us can tell you if that’s because of you or if that’s just her.
Maybe she has trust issues and just can’t open up in these kinds of situations.
Or maybe you subtly gave her reason to doubt that you would be supportive in such a situation.
Or maybe something else.
We have no way of knowing since none of us know you or have seen your normal interactions or know all the conversations you have had in the past.
What I can tell you that if she doesn’t feel she can talk to you in a situation like that you have a problem in your relationship.
Putting aside who’s fault that is, because that’s not productive at this stage, the fact is that if the two of you can’t discuss this and come to an understanding of why this played out the way it did your relationship is probably not long for this world, and certainly will be a very bumpy ride.