How do I (38M) decline the advances of a married friend (36F) who wants to cheat on her husband with me, without hurting her?
I (38M) have known this friend (36F) for some time now. She is married with a young child. Some weeks ago I asked her if she was alright because she looked very tired and sad, and she said it was nothing.
Fast forward a couple of weeks she calls me and asks if she can come home to see me, because she needs to talk. She arrives and when we sit she breaks down, crying like I’ve never seen somebody cry before.
I tried to console her and when I approached her she kissed me. I was dumbfounded. She said that she realized that she didn’t love her husband, that she never loved him and that she married just because she wanted to have a family.
Now she feels trapped with a person who’s too different from her, somebody who doesn’t understand her.
Now, I admit that I liked the kiss because I have a sweet spot for her and seeing how desperate she was touched me quite a lot.
Yet I don’t want this to develop further, I don’t want to be the cause of her divorce as I know her husband and he is a great guy (though he’s clearly incompatible with her) and her little child.
So I have to tell her that even though I care about her I can’t have a relationship with her that goes beyond our friendship.
The problem is how do I tell her? She looked very fragile and unstable and I don’t know how to do this. Maybe ghosting for some time would be the most viable option.