Mom (63F) on her deathbed from stage 4 cancer, ex-gf (28F) broke up with me (32M)
My Mom (63F) was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer about 2 months ago, and it has progressed quickly since. She has been in the hospital for over a week and the doctors are unsure what the future holds. We could be looking at days.
Things between my ex (28F) and I (32M) were going well before the diagnosis, the news came just after I returned home from visiting her.
Immediately following the diagnosis, she was upset I spent so much time with my family. I made more time, she said we talk too much and gave me the silent treatment for a week.
Hot/cold behavior and communication since. About three weeks. I tried to talk to her about this and cried while asking her to support me after I had to send my mum to the hospital, she called me selfish and said I ruined her day.
She apologized recently and things seemed to be getting somewhat better, we even made tentative plans to visit for a weekend depending on how my Mom was doing. She cancelled those plans on Monday, then called on Friday and broke up with me.
I’m so lost. She wanted to connect in a couple of weeks and check-in, said she would need to have boundaries around talking about my Mom’s death if it happened before then but was willing. I’m not sure how I feel about it.
She apologized for her bad timing and I was just flabbergasted, “I don’t want to feel like I’m abandoning you in the worst time.” “Well, you are.” I don’t know how anyone can be this cruel and heartless.
I’m having trouble coping with two losses at the same time. How can I separate my feelings about my Mom dying and my ex-gf? I want to be present for my Mom. I’m writing this from the hospital cafeteria and about to go back to sitting with my dying Mom and telling her things will be ok, but I am in pieces.