Dated my wife for 20 years, married for 8 years and we have a child together. She’s the most wonderful woman I’ve known in my life; educated, filial, hardworking, compassionate, responsible, trustworthy, great mom, all the best qualities you can find in a wife, a 9/10.
The issue with our relationship is that, we lack chemistry and do not have any common interest. I understand that romantic stages of love can’t be sustained and will dwindle over time, eventually moving into attachment or family phase.
My 20s was mostly work and I’ve never thought deeply about whom I’d like to spend the rest of my life with. We dated for so long, the relationship was stable, my family members are traditional in the sense they get married young, have children and live life as it is. I thought that was the norm and shall be my path as well.
So when my wife suggested if it’s time we get married, I agreed. When she wanted a child, I obliged because I know she really wanted one. We haven’t been intimate for the past 10 years, mostly because I am not interested in her. I’d always reject her requests to be intimate and beat it off myself when I have the need. How did we have a child? I medicated myself to get it up so she could conceive.
Pretty sure my wife knows that I’m not attracted to her, just that she keeps quiet about it. Realizing the seriousness of this situation, I started visiting psychologists for talk therapy and have tried all possible ways to make myself be at the least interested in bed; all attempts seem to be futile so far.
So my question is, do I resign myself to live the rest of my life like this?