I’m married but I can’t stop having constant fantasies about my co-worker
I started a new job a few months ago and I instantly noticed this incredibly attractive woman who was one of my new co-workers.
In terms of physical appearance, she was pretty much my exact dream woman, and despite the fact that I was married, I found myself instantly drawn to her.
We chatted a few times and it seemed like our personalities didn’t really mesh at all, and soon I felt my infatuation with her starting to fade. I chalked it up to a typical short-lived “work crush” kind of thing.
Then about three weeks ago, I randomly had a dream about this co-worker. It wasn’t even an obscene dream; it was just a dream about us starting up a relationship and dating, and both of us were very happy.
Since that dream, I can’t stop thinking about this woman in an explicit way. I am literally constantly having fantasies about her; when I’m trying to sleep, when I’m in the shower, when I’m doing chores, when I’m driving.
The first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning is walking into work, approaching her from behind, and kissing her on the neck while I wrap my arms around her. I feel like it’s literally driving me insane that I can’t get her off my mind.
And it’s mostly purely physical stuff. Like I’m usually not fantasizing about leaving my wife for her or actually starting a relationship with her.
I’m really usually not the kind of guy who fantasizes about other women. My wife and I have been together for about 20 years, and throughout almost all the time, she was the only woman I desired or thought about.
Part of me feels really, really guilty about this, but part of me also feels strangely alive because of it.
I genuinely like my job, but now while I’m at work, I feel like I’m just doing everything I can to not come off as creepy towards her. I usually try to avoid her, but it’s not always possible as her department and mine work together a lot.
It’s actually starting to interfere with my ability to concentrate at my job. And when we do talk, it feels like she’s acting differently towards me than usual. Not flirting with me exactly, but being way more open and friendly towards me than she usually is. Maybe I’m overthinking it, or maybe she somehow has discerned that I’m thinking about her this way. Women can tell these things.
Of course, I’d never try to actually act on these fantasies. This woman and I are acquaintances at best and I’m fairly confident she has no interest in me romantically. And although my marriage is going through a bit of a rough patch right now, I definitely don’t want to leave my wife.
I just don’t know what to do; I’ve actually even considered quitting my job because I literally can’t stop thinking about this woman, especially when I see her in person.