I (40M) started to cheat on my wife (38F) but stopped halfway through. Do I still tell her?
My wife and I have a great relationship. I can’t say I have any real complaints. We have been together for five years, married for two of those, and up until now I would have said I would never stray.
I was away for work last week and while I was in the hotel, a young woman (21F) sat next to me and began to flirt with me. I was extremely flattered by the attention. I have to admit it was a real ego boost to be flirted with by someone so young as I’ve started to get that middle-age dadbod and have been feeling like I’m losing my looks a bit. After a bit of talking the woman invited herself back up to my hotel room where we started getting frisky.
For me it was all about the thrill of being desired by someone other than my wife, especially by a very young woman. I was slightly drunk and I figured I’ll probably never get the opportunity to sleep with a 21 year old again.
But the thrill wore off very quickly as I realized that I wasn’t enjoying myself. This girl was not good in bed. She basically just laid there and starfished, sometimes she would pull herself into what she thought was a nice pose but that was it. She didn’t seem interested in me at all, I might as well have been a statue because she seemed more interested in herself and how she posed.
My wife has always been amazing. When I’m with my wife she’s all over me, talking to me and telling me how hot I am, grabbing me, touching me, getting on top and so on. I feel like the hottest guy in the world when I’m in bed with my wife. With this girl I felt like I could leave the room and she might not even notice let alone care. She seemed like she just wanted the ego boost of a guy finding her attractive.
I couldn’t stay aroused and I stopped about ten minutes into it and asked her to leave, which she did. I didn’t come, I just took a shower and then called my wife to hear her voice.
Now I’m back home and so far I haven’t told my wife about any of it. There’s a guilty part of me that says I should because she deserves to know but another part of me says why should I torpedo our happy marriage and cause her pain for something that I didn’t even enjoy and will never do again? All it did was prove to me that I want my wife more than anyone else. I want to do the right thing but I genuinely don’t know what the right thing to do is here. I know that I will never ever stray again. Should I tell her or keep it to myself?
Editor’s note: You made the conscious decisions to (1) accept her invitation to the hotel room, (2) take off your clothes, (3) get frisky with the woman, (4) actually engage in intercourse. And even thought you didn’t “pew pew”, you definitely cheated man.