I am the OP for this story.
I have read the comments and I just wanted to say that i am 100% not intending to pursue or get into another relationship. most of you rightly mentioned that i am still married and should sort my current one out first. absolutely agree. but in order to do this i need to be in the clearest mental state as possible so i need to remove feelings i have for this new person.
i believe i will get rejected if i confess, and so i really hope that hearing that rejection will help me give up on her. like i said i really want it to be platonic but i am suffering because of the feelings which i cannot control. i am open to other ways of helping me get over her, but believe me i have tried things like throwing myself into work, expand my social circle, and starting a hobby.
but because we still have regular meetups, the feelings keep coming back again and again. many of you have also pointed out the impact i will have on her by expressing my feelings, both emotionally and professionally. that is something i hadnt consider so thanks for sharing that.
i am also seriously thinking of ending the mentorship as an option, so i am thinking of a possible reason to say other than “i have feelings for you”, because of the reasons pointed out before on how confessing my feelings may have an impact on her.
Thank you all for the comments, though some were harsher than others.