Should I stay or go back?
Im married with a 3yo daughter but I’ve fallen for a married man who has a 10yo daughter. He still lives with the wife, but they’ve stayed separate room for more than 10 years. They don’t even talk now, basically 0 interaction. The reason they are still holding on is their child.
We are in r/s for almost 1year now, while I’m planning on divorce with my partner. For him, he said he will stay on until the child finish PSLE in 2yrs to minimise the impact on her.
His wife has been meeting another guy way before we are together. Went out dating during Covid restrictions, during weekend while he takes care of their daughter and even during valentines last month. She’s not working but supported by the husband since they are married. Unlimited spending on ccard, monthly allowance and shopping spree. While he’s not well to do, he tried to support her spending even until his saving dried up.
She takes care of the daughter during weekday, cooks dinner for her but did not cook for the husband. she’s quite a control freak as well, dictating how the husband and kid should live everyday.
For me, I’ve been with my partner for more than 14years since study. He was abusive previously, with few incidents becoming violent, hitting me until I bled, called police. But since I walked out from the house and stay alone, he really did changed and been trying very hard to get me back. Sending food to my office, bought me flowers and care for me through calls and messages. He also takes care of our daughter very well on his own now. Basically a changed man.
Now I’m in a dilemma if I should go back to my husband or stay in this r/s. I feel that I’ve lost the feeling and love for my husband but he’s now really a caring father and husband. Will he change again if I go back? And what ever he is doing now is just wayang to get me back?
I really love my bf. We talked about future together, and shared with each other our daily lives. He was my supervisor, and after we are together, he found another job for me so we won’t be working in the same company. He’s 10yrs older than me but this makes our r/s very matured, not the lovey dovey couple kind. However this also gives me doubt if he’s just looking for someone to be at his side to take care of his child once he’s divorced, and not really because he loves me.
I met his daughter many times and she really likes me too, even told me I’m like her mother, and better. I can sense that she has a lot of resentment towards her mother. Only 10yo, yet she ever asked the father to divorce the mom and wanna stay with the dad. However, my bf has no interest about my daughter at all. This makes me hesitated. When we’re discussing about future, my daughter was never mentioned.
Am I considered a homewrecker?
they already have their issue before I’m in the picture, but I still feel the guilt everytime I see their daughter. I also feel sorry towards my own daughter for leaving her. Im in such a mess. A failure in life. What should I do?