My gf and I are in our early 30s. We have been together for 3 years. Our relationship has been mostly smooth. We are saving for our future together and agreed when our savings hit xxx amount we would get married. We don’t have a joint account and only plan to join finances after marriage so we have been saving separately.
We take turns to pay on dates since our income is similar. I don’t find her stingy or calculative. She is generous and treats her friends often. I don’t have an issue with that because I do the same and it does not impact our savings plan.
The issue I have with her at times is about money. I’m quite tired of my gf comparing herself with her materialistic friends. Social media is so toxic. It felt like she is competing with others who have a richer and more capable bf. Sometimes it’s so obvious her friends are just showing off and she actually cannot see through the nonsense. This Vday I got her a Gucci bag. I know she has been eyeing this design and colour for a while so I saved up for it to surprise her. I get her gifts from time to time, the cost is not expensive everytime. Sometimes I just get flowers and no gifts. She love flowers. She also surprises me with gifts that I like. The cost can range from a superdry shirt to a branded wallet or a surprise weekend staycation. We don’t have an issue in regards to gifts that we give each other.
She thank me for the bag and told me she love the gift but she mentioned one of her gf got a Rolex and she wonder if she will get one from me.
My gf actually have a rolex prior to meeting me. I got myself one rolex too years ago. I don’t see the point of owning more than 1 rolex. We are not watch collectors. I told her even if we get married I likely may not get her one because I think its better to spend it elsewhere. But I can consider doing an upgrade for her. Means she resell the one she has and she can keep the money since its hers and I’ll get her a new one. She said ok she will think about it but she was in a sour mood for the rest of the day.
I thought the rolex thing is over but it’s not. Sometime later my gf talked about the rolex again. She said she thought about it and didn’t feel that I am reasonable.
She said I obviously can afford the watch without her reselling hers and I would rather make things difficult for her. I made my stand about finances that if she wants one from me I would want her to resell hers so the money is going somewhere useful. Besides, we are close to hitting our target savings amount. It means I will be proposing to her sometime soon.
If I get the rolex now, it means the proposal will surely be delayed. She told me she don’t want to delay our marriage and she also want the rolex.
We don’t plan to have children so we do not feel rushed to settle down. But the rolex issue did stumped me that this is one of the first time that we cannot see eye to eye. What should I do? Indulge her? Just get her the rolex? I still prefer that she resell if she wants me to get her one. I can don’t get her the watch but I know I’m going to get hell for an undetermined length of time. Or I can just get her the watch to get this over and done with as I also don’t find it worth to argue over this.