I’m 28 M, and most of my friends are men.
If you serve the internet long enough, you would think most men were predators in waiting. I even read some poor woman too scared to leave her house.
The truth is, almost all my friends are decent peeps. In fact, they would be TERRIFIED to talk to a girl they never met, let alone do unseemly things to them.
Most men are so scared of women (excluding the very vocal, toxic minority, or those who worked up alcoholic bravado) that if she so much as frowned after they approached (as if they’d have the guts even!) would fluster and run away apologetically, semi traumatized.
I also witness friends who I thought were decent, change attitudes toward women. I went through a phase myself, which I’m not proud of, but was part of growing up and maturing. Fortunately, I never crossed the line and hurt anyone, because deep down I was simply frustrated, not hateful and wanting to hurt anyone.
Most men are alienated from their own fathers, who are emotionally distant, absent, also raised by women themselves. Either they try look to their mother and sisters to learn how to be a man, or they find aggressive masculine role models to compensate.
So you have this weird situation where most men are raised meek, “pussified” and even scared of women, and the minority hatefully resent women/society for trying to teach them how to be men, labeling whats acceptable/unacceptable as a man.
Imagine your father (or remember, sadly) telling you whats acceptable as a woman and not. Now pretty much apply this to all men: having to listen their mom complain and belittle their father constantly.
This has a lot to do with the industrial revolution, and the world wars. It alienated sons from their fathers, who were away working, and then traumatized entire generations of men into violent tendencies, and/or emotional distance, my father was raised in a predominantly women household)
My mom was ok with my dad, but resenting his emotional distance, would bitch at me constantly about my dad. I was shamed and resentful, because apparently my father was weak. Eventually as I got older, I realised he was an alright guy, and that a man shouldnt listen to their mom about their father too much (and vice versa)
As a man you dont see alot of the stuff that happens to women 100% agree. I dated rape survivors, my male friend was groomed/raped by a gay guy, and its disgusting what people will do to take out their insecurities on others.
But dont forget most men have the complete opposite problem of toxic masculinity: they lack masculinity and are on some level, scared of women. Like mommy yelling at you for being a bad boy.
Nobody gives a F about men’s problems, we are left to figure it out on our own. Sure, men have more income and opportunities, but it doesnt mean anyone cares if a man has problems.
My male friend nearly lost his eye because of his toxic ex: think if the opposite had happened. He shut up because he knew he would just get ridiculed.
Have empathy, as well as boundaries! Most men simply are ashamed of being men, by women, and this sets up tragic scenarios.
I have no resentment against women: the opposite! Women awareness/feminism made my dating life a lot better, if im honest. Agree, or disagree, I felt a candid perspective from the other side would add value and be thought provoking. Echo chambers, even supportive ones, limit dialogue and entrench extremists
I wish you all unconditional love x