Bro/sis, I really need to vent and ask for advice before I accidentally start a whole family war.
My 3yo son started running a 38.5°C fever since last night. Kept him hydrated, gave him paracetamol, monitored his temperature—normal parent stuff, right? Then my wife’s mother (Malaysian, super traditional type from a small town in Perak) came over to “help look after” him today while we work from home.
Just now I walked out to the kitchen to grab a drink, and I caught her in the act.
She literally burned a paper talisman (hu), dumped the black ashes into a mug of water, and was about to force-feed it to my son. She claims it’s from some famous temple back in her hometown, saying my son “took a fright” (kua dio) or got brushed by something dirty, which is why the fever won’t go down. According to her, drinking this hu shui will “purge the bad qi” and cure him immediately.
I immediately blocked her and said, “Auntie, cannot lah! How can give toddler burn paper water? Got heavy metals and chemicals!”
Now she’s super offended, throwing a massive guilt trip, saying Malaysian Chinese always drink this growing up and nothing happened to them. She’s complaining to my wife in Cantonese that I don’t respect my elders, don’t care about my son’s health, and that Singaporeans are “too modern and arrogant.”
My wife is caught in the middle. She knows drinking ash water is medically stupid and dangerous, but she’s scared to anger her mother because MIL’s temper is legendary and she will pull the “I go back Malaysia right now” card.
How to handle this tactfully without making the household toxic? Should I just rush my son to the PD (pediatrician) right now so the doctor can be the “bad guy” and tell her off, or is there a nicer way to shut down this hu shui nonsense once and for all?
Help a stressed SG dad out… 🙏