I’ll cut straight to the point.
My mom visited us yesterday morning at 10am while I was at work. She must’ve found the house a mess because once she left, she called me to rant about how filthy and cluttered the house was. she went on a long rant about my wife having an attitude and almost kicking her out for pointing out that the house looked filthy and smelled.
I just nodded and uh-um’d through the entire call then went home thinking this was no big deal. But once I walked in, my wife started arguing with me about my mom berating her for the state of the house and calling it names like filthy and calling my wife names like dirty beggar.
She asked for my thoughts on this “verbal abuse” that mom keeps subjecting her to and I told her to just ignore her cause she’s like this with my brother’s wife too. She got upset and said that no, she doesn’t have to ignore her and mom has one chance to apologize or she’s no longer welcome here.
I said that was an exaggeration because, for one, she knows how much of a clean freak mom is and two, and let’s be honest here, She should’ve tidied up the house if she didn’t want any negative comments from mom or any other guest for that matter.
She said she really had no time to clean when she’s taking care of the kids and the dishes and whatnot and insisted that mom should’ve had basic human decency and called beforehand. I said fine but no longer allowing mom to visit at least for the kids sake was, in my opinion, over the top.
She said if I was okay with the kids hearing my mom’s despicable words then she’s not. She then argued about how I shouldn’t blame her for not tidying up the house when there’s so much on her plate already. I said I get it but she was really making a big out of it. now I could talk to mom about visiting times but I think that my wife is to blame too here. My wife was mortified and is saying she’ll go through to no longer allow my mom into the house if this keeps happening and the fight just got worse.
I feel like I got stuck in between both sides of the argument and was being blamed for both of their behaviors.