I have been close friends with this guy for 9 years. He first confessed his feelings for me 8 years ago. Back then he was 21 and I was 19. We both know that we love each other A LOT. We tried getting together 8 years ago but he said no. For the next 8 years, I tried bringing up the topic again and again and each time he changes his story and says that he only treats me as a friend.
So I stayed friends with him even thought it was really hard for me. He made the decision to stay friends FOR THE BOTH OF US. I do feel hurt by his decision. I didn’t even have a say in it.
Then weeks ago he confessed again and told me “After all these years, I regret the decisions I made. I still love you so much and I don’t think I can love another girl the same.”. I told him that my feelings for him hasn’t changed. He asked me if we can try again.
At this point I don’t know what to think.
1. He selfishly made the decision for us to be friends 8 years ago even though he knew our feelings for each other. What is more he denied when I brought up the topic again and again.
So now he wants to try again I have to? What does that make me? A doormat? So everything have to follow his timing?
2. More importantly, if he can be such a coward once, what’s stopping him from being a coward again when things get rough in our relationship?
3. He is kind of a mummy’ boy but I also realised that in this day and age, it’s almost impossible to find a not-mummy’s-boy. I would say that most of my guy friends are to some extend. Their mother’s still do their chores for them and these guys go to their mothers for reassurance for mundane stuff. I guess it’s just a consequence of progress – as lives get better offspring become more useless. Not as tough as the old days.
4. I’m not being arrogant. He lives me. I never doubt that but he often doesn’t understand what I’m saying. He is not intelligent. I have to explain a lot things to him and sometimes it pisses me off. He also has no interest in money or politics. I’m not saying he has to be an expert in it but having some money sense is important for couples. He sits on the fence to avoid offending anyone. I once had a misunderstanding with his mum and he sat on the fence. What’s stopping him to do it again in future?
5. He is indecisive and not mentally strong.
6. He talks too much. Once he starts talking, good luck waiting for him to stop and listen to you.
I am still a little angry at him for making that selfish decision to stay as friends even though he knew our feelings are mutual. He is obviously a coward who wants the best of both words. But even with all these I never doubted his love for me. He is always there for me…although I’m not sure is it bcus he has no one else. He is not good at being with himself. He has lost friends because they see him as annoying and unreliable
I don’t know what to think.