My ex divorced me and now wants to be together again after 4 years
I’m 46f, and my ex-husband is 45. We were married at 26. Right before we got married, I gave birth to a beautiful daughter who’s now 21 years old. I loved both of them dearly, and we’ve been a happy family for about 16 years before everything went down.
Our only problem was my ex’s mother. She always had a strong dislike for me. She never thought I was good enough for her baby boy. We had many fights, and my ex cut contact with her after the wedding when she tried wearing white to it.
We had many encounters with her years after that. Sending us gifts for my daughter and purposely trying to get us to contact her again to seeing her outside our house.
4 years ago, I got home from work to see my ex and his mom together on the couch. My ex was on the verge of tears, yelling and calling me a cheater. I tried to explain I didn’t, but his mother supposedly had proof. Saying she saw me with another man out in a restaurant together.
I’m very faithful and loyal, but he refused to hear me out. We got into a big argument before he packed up and left to stay with his mother. When my daughter got home from a friend’s house, she too started to blame me when she found out from her dad. She went to live with her dad while he sent out divorce papers.
It took about a year before it was finalized. He got custody of her, and I was granted visitation rights, but she never wanted to see me.
It took a long time to move on. I sought therapy and fell into a huge depression. I knew my ex’s mother made it up to tear us apart. I can’t believe he listened to her so carelessly. I don’t blame my daughter, but it still hurts.
I moved out of to allow my ex and my daughter to live there. I moved to a small home. It’s been 4 years, and I started to finally be happy again. I made new friends. We had so much fun and I got a promotion at work. I still missed my family. My daughter, but I couldn’t do anything about it.
My two days ago, my daughter called me. It’s been 4 years since I’ve last seen or heard from her. She said that my ex’s mother admitted to lying. She said that my ex got a new girlfriend and his mother was furious, claiming he shouldn’t have one after all the trouble she did to get rid of me. They got into a heated fight before he kicked his mom out. I nearly wanted to cry. I thought she would never admit it, and now I’m hearing my daughter. She asked to meet up and apologized so many times. I told her we could meet tomorrow.
Yesterday, I met her at a restaurant, but she brought along my ex. Something she never mentioned, nor have I agreed upon. He was apologizing, saying how much he missed me and that he dumped his girlfriend. He wanted us to be together again. I excused myself and left them there. I got back home to lots of phone calls from my daughter and text messages from her. She wanted us to talk, and she called me an a-hole for leaving. I told her I wasn’t comfortable and that she needed to understand. I had to mute my phone and put it down for a bit.
I haven’t responded yet, and I’m not sure what to do. I love her, but I can’t talk to her with him there. Not yet anyways. It feels so fast. I wanted to do it one on one. I’m deeply hurt and crying as I’m typing this. I don’t know what to do.