Just want to rant
Married with 2 kids , family around still I feel so lonely and lost , sometime just feel to end all of this and vanish out of everything .
I don’t feel connected with my spouse and I get frustrated living with him , I don’t know why I feel this way , I hate to get intimate with him . I was never supported emotionally when ever I had my hard times , he was always verbally abusive and did hurtful talks on me .
Married for many years and living in this relationship is taking the hell out me , I’m always frustrated and grumpy. I regret for taking this frustration on kids and cry every night to sleep for this meaningless life, for being am a horrible mother.
I don’t have the courage to move out of this and I don’t have any one to support me.
Here are what netizens think:
- Kids in sch? Childcare? Kindy care etc? Go find a job for financial independency. Make urself independent before deciding something else. Having a job will make new friends too. Because what u’re describing is the same as how i felt when i was a SAHM. Then i went back to the workforce. Every mth go out at least once to unwind with my colleagues.
- Focus on building your income and safety net then move on from there.
- See a marriage counsellor if both are willing. If not, consider a divorce if all other options can’t be worked out. Living in a soul sucking marriage with an abusive spouse will sap the life out of anyone eventually. You don’t need to go through this. Just make plans for your kids so that their lives will be minimally impacted. Of course, it’s never going to be easy. But it’s up to you.
- My first thought is to tell you, “Get Out!!! Get Out Now!!!” Before you start to harm your self, get your in laws or your Parents to look after the kids for awhile as you heal, tell them what’s happening in you life and if possible see a marriage counsellor, nothing is normal when you are already feeling this way, it’s worse when you partner who is suppose to protect you is abusive, this is not normal when you already fall out of love and I am assuming it’s due to your partner treatment towards you as a spouse, a wife and a human being with emotion and feelings, nobody is suppose to be in a toxic relationship and nobody should say this is normal, get help!!! Do it soon to safe guard your mental and physical well being, only then you could be a good mother, cause right now it’s not fair for your kids to be the receiving end of your pain. So get out and seek help now! And remember there is no shame in airing your dirty laundry to closes to you, it’s your extension in seeking help.