Mum moved to JB to stay with her Malaysian boyfriend 2 years ago, but refuses to let me sell our empty 5-room HDB because of “Fengshui” (actually she using it as a store room)
Need some perspective from fellow Singaporeans on how to deal with irrational boomer parents regarding HDB ownership.
Context: My dad passed away 5 years ago. The current 5-room HDB flat in Ang Mo Kio is co-owned under Joint Tenancy by my Mother (61F) and myself (30M).
Two years ago, my mum met this 48-year-old Malaysian guy online. Within 6 months, she basically abandoned the SG house and moved permanently to live with him in a rented condo in Horizon Hills, JB. She only comes back to Singapore once every 2-3 months for 1 day just to collect her chronic medication from polyclinic.
So effectively, I am living alone in a huge 5-room HDB, paying ALL the town council fees, conservancy charges, property tax, electricity, and maintenance bills by myself.
I am getting married end of this year. My fiancée and I applied for a resale flat near her parents’ place in Tampines. To clear my name for the resale purchase (and avoid paying absurd ABSD/qualifying for housing grants), I need to either:
- Sell the AMK 5-room HDB flat on the open market, or
- Transfer my share of the flat to my mother (which she cannot afford because she has no CPF left and no income).
So the only logical option is to SELL the flat. Given the current AMK resale market, our unit can easily fetch $850k to $900k. She will get half the cash ($425k+), which is MORE than enough for her retirement in Malaysia!
When I brought this up to her, she threw a massive tantrum:
- “This house has very good Fengshui! Your late father’s spirit is inside! Cannot sell!”
- “If you sell, you are unfilial! You want your own mother to be homeless in SG?” (Bitch, you live in JB 360 days a year!)
- “You buy resale flat with your wife, don’t use my house money!”
I went back to the AMK flat to inspect her room. The “Fengshui / Dad’s spirit” excuse is complete bullshit.
The main reason she doesn’t want to sell is because she turned two whole bedrooms into a Taobao smuggling warehouse. She buys cheap furniture and clothes from China, hoards them in the SG HDB flat, and then slowly brings them over to JB to sell in her boyfriend’s blogshop! She is literally using a $900k HDB asset as a free storage unit for her boyfriend’s illegal side business!
Because it’s a Joint Tenancy, HDB rules state that BOTH owners must sign the Option to Purchase (OTP). I cannot sell the house unilaterally.
I tried explaining to her that I cannot complete my resale purchase without selling this flat first, but she just blocks my phone number whenever I bring up the topic. My fiancée’s family is starting to think I am non-committal because of this housing delay.
Short of taking legal action to sever the joint tenancy into Tenancy-in-Common and forcing a court order sale (which will cost tens of thousands in legal fees), what can I do? Can I report her long-term absence to HDB since she is not fulfilling the Minimum Occupation Period / physical residency requirements? Has anyone successfully forced a sale against a stubborn parent?