My (29F) mum (50) has been ‘seeing’ this guy D for a couple months.
She lives with my older sister while she works. I found out about my mum and D through my sister even though my mum had told her not to say anything about them to any of us siblings (there’s 5 of us).
I have never met D and only know little about him from what my sister tells me. A few weeks ago I went to town for a girl’s night with my friends I invited my mum along since I hadn’t seen her in a while and wanted to catch up while I was there.
By this time my sister had told my mum that I knew about D so I specifically told my mum it was a girl’s night we were not bringing partners. She was super excited and was like yep definitely just girls. So we go to our first cocktail bar and we’re having a good time singing karaoke and I notice this guy hanging out by my mum but walking away when I would come back to the table and one of my friends even mention like “hey I think that guy is flirting with your mum’ and we have a laugh and carry on then we go to the next bar and 15mins later that same guy is there with my mum again so mum and I are in the bathroom together at one point and I’m like ‘hey, is that D?’
And she was like yeah I told him where we were.
I was like mum it’s a girl’s night!! We didn’t argue or anything she just giggled and walked back out to him and I carried on karokeing with my friends and mum. I was getting drunk and having a good time and didn’t think it a good time for introductions with D so we didn’t meet that night.
Anyway fast forward 2 weeks to last night and I rang mum to ask if she could make some food for Christmas (I’m hosting Christmas this year so all my siblings families and mum are coming and all though I will be providing the whole main courses I have asked each family to bring a dessert) anyway I call her up and she says oh yeah D and I will bring a steam pudding.
I was like hold on a second D is not coming. She asked why and I said well I know very little about him considering you’re keeping him a secret from us this whole time and the only thing I do know about him is that he crashed our girl’s night.
I just don’t think Christmas is the time to meet this guy you’ve been seeing for only 2 months. Maybe you guys could host a BBQ in the new year and we’ll come to that and meet him. She then said she wouldn’t come to Christmas cause he’s not invited and I’m an A-hole cause now she’s missing out on Christmas with her kids and grandkids because I won’t let him come too.
3 of my siblings agree with me but my sister who has met him and knows more than we do because mum lives with her said I should let him come too.
But my thing is she didn’t even want us to know about him and now she wants to bring him to Christmas. If my sister hadn’t told me about him I wouldn’t even know he existed.