I need to vent before I actually explode at the office.
One of my colleagues—let’s call her Sarah—is the sweetest person. But I just found out some absolute tea about her husband, and the way she’s handling it is making me physically ill.
Basically, the guy has a whole separate life with a Vietnamese woman on the side. It’s not even a “rumor” anymore; it’s basically an open secret. There are photos, there are “business trips” that don’t add up, the whole nine yards. And Sarah? She knows. She definitely knows.
But instead of dragging him, she’s out here playing the “perfect Malaysian wife” role. She’s literally bluffing herself. Whenever anyone gets close to the topic, she starts talking about how “blessed” her marriage is and how important it is for the children to have a “complete family.”
I get it, the cultural pressure here to keep the peace and “save face” is heavy. And yeah, the kids are young. But watching her gaslight herself is exhausting. She’s choosing to believe his lies just so she doesn’t have to deal with the reality of a broken home. She’s sacrificing her entire dignity and mental health for a man who doesn’t even have the decency to be discreet.
It’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion, but the conductor is pretending everything is fine while the engine is literally on fire. How do you even work next to someone who is living a total lie every single day?
I want to shake her and tell her that “maintaining the marriage for the kids” is just a fancy way of saying you’re okay with being a doormat. But of course, I have to just sit here, sip my coffee, and nod when she talks about their upcoming “family vacation.”
I can’t. I just can’t.
I’m back because I just found out more details and I am actually vibrating with rage at my desk right now.
To add context to my previous post: Sarah literally does the daily 4:00 AM grind. She wakes up in the middle of the night to cross the Causeway from JB to Singapore every single day just to earn that SGD so her family can have a better life. She’s putting in 12-hour days, dealing with the soul-crushing border traffic, and coming back exhausted just to provide for her kids.
And what is her husband doing with all that “freedom” while she’s in Singapore earning the real money?
He’s in Malaysia, comfortable as hell, spending his time with his Vietnamese side-piece. Since Sarah is gone for 14 hours a day, he has all the “me time” in the world to maintain this second life. He’s basically using the stability and the income she provides to fund his audacity.
It makes my blood boil. She is literally the engine of that household—crossing borders, sacrificing her sleep and her health—while he’s just… enjoying the perks of being a “married man” without any of the loyalty.
I see her scrolling through her phone during lunch, looking at his posts or checking her home CCTV, and you can see the flicker of realization in her eyes before she quickly shuts it down and starts talking about her son’s tuition or their next mortgage payment.
She’s not just bluffing herself; she’s working herself to the bone to maintain a “happy home” that he’s already set on fire. The sheer level of self-delusion required to make that commute every day while knowing your husband is probably with another woman the second you clear Immigration is insane.
I don’t know how much longer I can keep my mouth shut. Watching a hardworking woman turn herself into a martyr for a man who wouldn’t even cross the street for her—let alone the Causeway—is the most depressing thing I’ve ever seen.