My mum is living her ambitions through me and its suffocating.
I’m a top student with a narcissistic mother. My mother married my dad when she was 20 and never had to work her entire life. She dropped out of school mid way after she met my dad who’s much older and was married to him within a year and had me. My father is the one with the brains. He was the top student during his youth.
Even though my mother never worked her whole life, she didn’t take care of me when I was young. I was sent to my grandparents home during the weekdays and I only went home during weekends till I started school. Even though I did well in my studies, I was forced to take tuition for every subject. My dad initially objected but caved in after my mum persisted. As time grew, I didn’t mind as it’s a good reason to be away from home and away from my mum.
My mother is constantly bragging about my achievements to anyone who is willing to hear and its embarrassing. Even though I’m a top student, we come from a humble background and I lived in the same place since the day I was born. It’s hard enough to be looked down by the other rich students even though I’m doing better in terms of grades. My mother would embarrass me by trying to talk about me to people who didn’t even ask about me. Like my cousin is only in P1 so we have a huge age gap, she would brag about how I was when I was P1 and I’m already past 20. I don’t remember what achievement awards that I’ve collected over the years but she can name them out as though people cared. She is constantly making excuses to why she can’t work because of me. As a result of her obnoxious behavior, we are not close to relatives. I am also not close to my cousins as my mum constantly reminded me that they are average students and I should only mix with people who are similar like me. I admit I feel superior to them as I’m a single child and have more attention and money spent on me compared to my less privileged cousins who had to settle for diplomas.
I can’t be friends with people she don’t approve of. I am not allowed to date. She knows nothing about the courses I’m doing and would always try to lecture me when she knows nothing. I’m not allowed to dress what I like. I’m not allowed a lot of things. She checks my phone whenever she likes and reads my texts. When I’m relaxing she would make snide comments if she think I’ve rested for too long. I’ve given up having a social life because she will follow me wherever I go. As a housewife she has no friends and doesn’t even cook. My father and I are the ones doing the household chores most of the time. I really wish she find a part time job or meet a friend and get off my back.
I’m studying for my degree now and she would talk about her expectations of my future salary and how much she is going to get from me for all the sacrifices she “made” for me. Internally, I really hated the thought of taking over the role of my father to take care of her. She play games on her phone all the time. For a self disciplined person, I really dislike how she’s wasting her time too.
I appreciate my father more than my mother because he was the one who did all the financial planning for my studies while my mum was only interested in when is her next holiday and when is her next branded bag coming in. I have no plans to enable my mother next time. I can’t wait to graduate, move out and start my own life. Am I being unfilial?