Mom has forced herself into my home and it seems I have no say! I am so miserable!
I am a single mother. I recently started living alone with my little son. I was looking forward to having time to myself to reflect, re strategize and re-build my life. But my mother decided to temporarily move in to “help” me with the baby.
While I appreciate the kind gesture, we have never gotten along and we do not enjoy each other’s company. I don’t want her help and I certainly don’t need her help.
Despite her presence, I end up doing 70% of the housework and pay for 100% of the bills. She does a halfhearted job taking care of my son, so I do 85% of the child raring myself. I also had to furnish a room for her. There is also additional pressure to entertain her and ensure she is okay. She also acts helplessness in most scenarios, so in the absence of my father, I have to do all adult things for her (such as taxes).
I have tried positive thinking, I have tried and adjusting my attitude. But the truth is, her presence is enraging me.
When I suggest that it’s time for her to return to her home and her husband because I don’t need her help- she ignores me and tells me she is here for “x months”. It seems I have no say in how long she stays in my home yet she adds little value. Mind you, she is happily married and has a beautiful home and a wealthy husband.
I have concluded that she is here to feel better about herself. Savior complex.
I am getting quite resentful and agitated. These are months of my life I will never get back. I found myself counting how many months, weeks and days I have to endure her. I almost want to run away from my own house. I am done asking her to leave as she has decided how long she is staying despite my wishes. My sibling keeps telling me to make “the most out of it”. She thinks she’s such a good mother. Sacrificing her freedom and good life to be with me.
Am I wrong? Am I ungrateful? How should I handle this?