This will be long but I will try to shorten it as much as possible. I met my husband in 2019; things progressed very quickly as we were both looking for something serious.
After a few weeks of dating I met my MIL…the first time I met her she looked at me and said ‘do you want more kids? Because if you don’t there is no reason for you to be here’ (I have a 9 y/o from my first marriage) In August of 2020 we were married and went on to start trying for a baby.
After a year of trying we had made no progress and sought out help from a fertility clinic. After a few appointments it was apparent that we were dealing with Male Factor Infertility.
We never shared much with our family because my husband said it was embarrassing to him and I respected that. After about 6 months of dr appointments and meds we were out with my in laws; my MIL who had been drinking aggressively asked me ‘what the f is wrong with you’ insinuating it was MY fault we hadn’t conceived.
Shortly after this there was a falling out between my husband and his mom. We didn’t see or speak to her for months. I lost my mom when I was 12; so I always encourage people to have good relationships with their moms because I wish I had the opportunity.
Amends were made and about 3 months later we found out we were expecting. The day we told her she said ‘see, I just needed to be around’ Like we hadn’t spent $5,000 to get to this point.
In July this year we planned a gender reveal and sent her an invite; she declined because she didn’t want to be around my father…..so my husband who was extremely hurt cut ties with her.
I have asked him all throughout the pregnancy if she was to reach out how would he handle it? He basically said he wouldn’t entertain the relationship because it just wasn’t worth it. 2 weeks ago my husbands step mom (who essentially raised him) threw us a baby shower.
I posted online thanking her and posted a few pics. The next day my husband got a text from his sister saying that their mom was so sad and hates that things are the way they are.
The next day his mom sent a tiktok video to all of her kids in a group text. My husband responded back and I got really upset honestly. After NO CONTACT for 6 months, that’s the way she reaches out??
I just feel that she is bummed she won’t be involved with the birth of his first biological child and basically will have nothing to post on her social media when the baby is born and that is what makes her sad.
Do I encourage my husband and me just suck it up for them to have a relationship? Are my feelings valid for wishing she was out of the picture forever? What should I doðŸ˜