Anyone feels like people with a big social circle tend to be much harder to be friends with?
I notice this aplenty of times with such people. In person, they have incredible social skills in talking and being friendly and joking…
But they’ll never stay around long. They’ll only stay in a meetup a period of time before saying they need go off somewhere else. Then when you try to jio them out again, they’ll make up 101 excuses not to come.
It’s such an ironic thing. I’ve come to call this the ‘Social Circle Limit’ hypothesis. Basically, once a person’s social circle gets too big, the person will stop actively trying to make friends and will never open up to anyone outside of their existing established social circle.
But they’re smart about their situation. They’ll only go for hangouts or meet with new people when it benefits them somehow, but never for plain socialisation. They see it as the lowest priority in their life.
Whereas a person with few friends have the mentality of ‘I’ll be open to making friends with whoever!’, these people with too many friends have cultivated the mentality of ‘I’ll be extremely selective of who I want as a friend’.
Now why am I making this weird post? It’s advice actually. For those of you out there trying to expand your social circle, please learn on who you should invest your efforts in and who you shouldn’t.
Basically, avoid people who already look like they have a ton of friends. You’re never going to be actual friends with them… I had to learn it the hard way.
As a friendly introvert, socializing is the lowest priority and I don’t see anything wrong with that. I just don’t have the energy to hang out with people everyday.
I mostly hang out with people with mutual interests and even then, our schedules have to match. I do make an exception for childhood friends though and they tend to surprise me with random interests.
Recently, we’ve developed an interest in birds separately and I think it’s hilarious yet amazing. Why do you find the need to socialize for the sake of socializing?