Most people who have children, don’t seem to fully understand what they are getting into.
As I am at the age where most of my friends are married and having children/had children, many around me have started to ask why my wife and I do not have any yet.
The answer is simple. Unless you truly want to have children, and you want to devote your time towards nurturing a child, you should not have children. This answer often makes people around me uncomfortable as it seems like it is a direct jab at their life choices.
Many around us tend to have children simply because it seems to be the “next step in life”. Or perhaps as some form of insurance against old age as they may have a child or two to care for them as they age. Sure, these are valid reasons as long as you nurture and love your children.
But this is where it all goes downhill. Where parents only want to enjoy the fun parts of parenting and dump the rest to everyone and everything else around them.
Instead of spending quality time educating and nurturing the child, many young parents like to whip out the iPad so the child can go on “autopilot” mode and they can use their mobile phones or computers in peace. The amount of actual human interaction that the child receives is what helps to nurture and allow the child to grow as an intellectual.
Children are brought to the world by their parents and if their own parents don’t even want to spend time with them, then what kind of childhood are these children going to go through? It takes a lot of real love and patience to really nurture a human being, and it simply cannot be reduced to 30 minutes of interaction spread across a day. Let alone creating your “insurance” as a side piece.
After years and years of watching how people can say things like “Parenthood is the best thing that can happen to you” or “the sacrifice is all worth it” while whipping out the iPad at the dinner table for their child and blasting Baby Shark while the domestic helper attempts to feed the child and they sit there themselves to use their phones, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is no easy feat being a parent. A true parent, not a sperm donor or egg incubator.
I know that this post will likely not make any difference, but I would like to suggest to couples that are considering to have children, to really understand what you are getting yourselves into. Should you choose to embark on the journey of Parenthood, I applaud you and sincerely hope you nurture a good and responsible human being to be part of our society.