Parents of Singapore, how do you guys discipline your children?
We had a conversation at work. And one of the elder colleague mentioned that the current teenage generation is too soft because they aren’t well disciplined by their parents.
He said back then, when we did something wrong we will be caned by our father or scolded harshly. And because of that we learned to be more discipline.
I believe the 80s and 90s kid can attest to that. The fear of tasting the wooden cane or belt because we did something wrong. Right now they are afraid to even lay the hands on their kids for fear of accusations from the public.
But in this day and age, esp with social media and protection of children and all, it seems that caning and such is frowned upon.
And sorry to say but you can really see how rude and ridiculous some children these days are; esp to their parents and elders.
They literally have no respect for others and some parents just let them be. My friend has a colleague whose child was 7 year old was caught stealing in primary school on four different occasions but all she did was tell him “don’t do again next time ah” ??????!?!????. Needless to say it happened the 5th time.
So I’m curious, for parents of the current generation, how do you guys discipline your kids? The old traditional route that our parents did or the “let’s just talk some sense into them till they learn”?
I’m starting my own family in 2 years and this is one of my biggest concern tbh.
Netizens’ comments
- “My mother cane me, school cane me, prison cane my father, so what, train from young mah”
- I grew up being caned often, sometimes to the point of bleeding welts. I have never bought a cane, nor raised a hand to my son, except for some smacks on his diapered bottom when he was a baby to deter him from stoves and irons and dangerous things.
He is 13 now, and we talk all the time. If he has to be punished, he knows exactly what he is being punished for and how long the punishment will last. Usually this involves taking away privileges, sometimes it involves doing stuff he does not enjoy, like extra chores. I am a Gen X, and I promised myself to bring my son up the exact opposite of how my parents raised me. Seems to be working well so far.
We are friends, but he also knows I am Mom. Kids need boundaries to feel safe and loved, and I have always tried my best to let him know where the boundaries lie. They get wider as he grows up, because I am raising a future adult, not a man-child. I am giving him roots now, so that when his wings grow in, he will know that he will always have a safe space with me. - lol i had 2 friends share their stories with vastly different methods.
guy A say he is the law and judge, his kids fear his every move and he’ll smack them until bleed kind if necessary.
guy B is oh my kids step all over me, they don’t listen to anything i say and they do whatever they want.
to me both also is like wtf bro u ok or not
my kids know when to fear and listen to me, but i usually just talk it out with them rather than going all fierce mode unless they still disobey and not listen - We scold and give time outs to our son. He’s still young and he listens well with warning/scolding & occasional time-outs when he’s really acting up, so never really had to spank him. But not completely ruling this out in the future for really serious cases.
Idk about others, growing up it’s not the spanking or the scolding that I hated. I understand sometimes I deserved them esp during my rebellious years. It’s the lack of respect or communication from my parents that I really despised. I mean things like when they yelled at me in public (kids can feel embarrassed too), or when they just decided to scold / hit me because they unilaterally decided I was wrong and they were right without giving adequate explanations to me.
So for us, when we scold / give punishment to our kid, we make sure to talk to him after that and tell him why he was punished. Or give him plenty of warning before actually punishing him. Sometimes as parents we may have a bad day and lose patience and overreact – in that occasion I will also apologise to my kid once I’ve cooled down.
Idk if this is gonna work at the end of the day (we just barely started this parenting journey), but we’re trying our best to strike a balance to instill discipline in our kid without ruining the relationship 🥲