I hate being a woman. I don’t hate having the external physical appearance, but having a uterus feels like such a fucking burden. I’m only 19, I know, but intimacy with men never feels safe.
I never feel like I fully own my body, I have to sacrifice my autonomy to chance (even tho I’m on birth control that 1% still terrifies me).
I want to remove this burden from my body. I want to own myself. I feel bad for hating kids, especially when there are people in my life who love them, I feel bad for hating everything about pregnancy.
I had a nightmare where I was looking into the mirror and I was suddenly pregnant and looking at my pregnant belly. I don’t think it’s normal to hate having a uterus this much.
I got my period when I was 12! I WAS A CHILD WHEN I COULD START HAVING KIDS. My body doesn’t fucking care, it’s betraying me.
I get so distressed about this I feel like I can’t breathe.
I was feeling really low and out of control of my body when I wrote this. I wanted to say that I don’t actually hate children, they simply remind me of my own anxieties around pregnancy and hatred of my body—which of course is not their fault!
Also I wanted to say that you don’t have to be a woman to have these feelings. anyone of any gender can feel this way about their uterus. I really appreciate all of y’all and relate to many of you deeply.