Just got my HIV results today. And I would like to share my experience here, from the start. So I had an unprotected sx with a stranger in a filthy place, panicked after that, got PEP, the last resort to prevent HIV infection, the next morning.
And let me assure you that night was the worst night of my life, hands down. What if I got HIV? I’m an international student. I will get deported immediately if my result is positive. What to tell my parents? I was so decided that if I got HIV from this, I’ll commit suicide, no doubt. There isn’t any choice left for me. I was bonded by 3 years due to the tuition grant so I need to break bond if I got deported, work in my own country that pays peanut to pay the debt. That isn’t the life I want after ONE sx.
Anyway I got PEP, paid $1000+ in grand total, started the medications. The side effects are those you normally see in AIDS patients, which don’t help, you see, as I already panicked AF at that point. At the end I stopped the medications prematurely, in its 2nd week cause of the severe side effects. As PEP is supposed to be taken for entire month, my $1000 went to the drain, the PEP didn’t work.
What’s left for me? Wait. Because of this 3-month window period of HIV. It was just a living nightmare at this point. Everyday all I can think of was the possibility of getting HIV. Googled the statistics of getting HIV after one fk. Not too high, but possible. I simply can’t afford ‘possible’, beaten myself up countlessly why forgo the condom? Cause I was too stupid to use my brain, the one in the head.
I tried to continue study as normal during the term, and slowly I got distracted but it stings every time I think of it.
So today, I needed the closure, whether to live or to die. I went to do the testing, way after the window period, I kept staring at the kit, was so scared about the results. It was one line. The nurse threw the kit away and tell me I’m fine. I pretended to be calm and went home. But all I can say in this point, I got lucky, and I hope this experience can encourage my fellow mates to practice safe sx.
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