Currently pes e1 as ASA. Long story short, came into NS in sep already suffering from anxiety, depression, insomnia and also diabetes downpesed to e1, and posted out mid November.
anxiety, depression and insomnia has since gotten significantly worse to the point where i feel that I have no energy all the time, am super irritated at home, super sad and unfocused at work, no visible interest in anything, even my hobbies, am now super paranoid of literally anything, and have attempted s**cide twice in the past 3 months.
have also been diagonsed with water retention in my right foot, that likely needs surgery, and camp mo has referred me to TTSH
attended pcc appointment very recently this month, put on mc until next pcc appointment and was also offered pes f. didn’t take it immediately because I was unsure if my parents would support it. have discussed with my parents since then and they have said they would support me regardless of what decision i take.
now I’m also unsure whether i want to take pes f because:
-i was only able to get the help that i asked for in pcc, instead of my usual psychiatrist, one of them being this: requested for antidepressants back in November last year and was denied by my own psychiatrist who merely wrote it off as adjustment disorder, and only gave me some tablets for anxiety, even after I told him about my first s**cide attempt. was only given antidepressants from recent pcc appointment after telling them about my first and second s**cide attempt. very worried regarding this once I’m discharged
-not being covered by 11b anymore, haven’t undergone leg surgery for water retention yet and diabetic medicine is pretty expensive
-wont exactly be “reaping” off the time saved from getting pes F, need time to recover mentally before I can enrol for uni
-have heard about some repercussions of pes F ( unis,jobs are harder to look for)
at the same time, i can’t return to my unit in this current state, and I’m legitimately a blur ass sotong who can barely pick up anything and know what is going on at all. I’ve found army life to be very fast paced and very strict even in the chillest vocation possible. my unit posting was intentional by PCC to one not too far from my house as well. my unit and direct superiors are okay, they aren’t assholes.
my main goal is to get my psychiatric issues resolved once and for all before going into uni, and i am unsure if i should try and do it in NS (stay as e1) or outside of NS (take pes f) need some advice regarding this