My parents will divorce if I don’t break up with my (21m) girlfriend (19f).
I have a girlfriend, and my parents don’t approve of our relationship at all. Last few weeks they’ve been furious about it, and threatening to divorce. They told me not to date until I get my bachelor’s. We didn’t even do anything inappropriate- we’re just close friends, often hang out together on campus, and we’re in a swing dance club. I didn’t even tell my parents about my relationship. How did they find out? My sister (18f) also goes to same uni as me, and she always saw me walking around holding hands and eating in the cafeteria with the same girl. Instead of asking me about it she told my parents. She took pictures of us from afar, and used it as evidence against me. When I told my parents that both my girlfriend and I are legal adults, and that her parents approve of the relationship, they said, “you’ll always be a child in our eyes, and her parents don’t influence us”. They’re primarily mad because I kept my relationship a secret for so long, and secondary reason is that I’m breaking their expectations about dating.
My grades are fine and I’ve never gotten in trouble at school. What’s worse is that my sister was allowed to date as early as her freshman year. She’s even invited her boyfriends home and slept in the same bed as them, and went on vacations with their families. She’s had like 3 boyfriends already, as she gets into dating drama frequently. When I, 3 years older than her, asked my parents if I could date, they said no, because they don’t want me getting in trouble.
When I told my parents that I love my girlfriend and I’m not breaking up with her, they said that they will divorce each other if I don’t break up with her ASAP. They were forcing me to pull out my phone and text her, saying that I want to break up. I refused, arguing that they let my irresponsible, academically struggling younger sister date, but not me. My parents said that I value her over family, and that they spent 21 years raising a failure. (I’m not a failure; my sister is)
My dad hit me several times, giving me a black eye, while my mom lay on the floor crying, saying that she wishes she aborted me. Then he argued with my mom and screamed at each other. Meanwhile I grabbed my backpack with my stuff in it and drove off to my girlfriend’s house. My parents fortunately don’t know where she lives. When he noticed my car was missing, he called me but I didn’t pick up. Then he texted me asking where I am, and said that he would come get me. I told my girlfriend’s family what happened, and they offered to let me stay with them until we go back to campus.
I got my girlfriend’s dad to call my parents, and he told them to F off, and that if they keep treating me like this they will take legal action themselves. I know it’s only because she and I are very committed in our relationship, and her parents are supportive of it.