I (21 f) am the oldest of three, I’m also the only daughter.
My parents started “teaching” me house chores at around age 9, which was basically giving me a broom and telling me to sweep without telling me how, or to do the dishes, without teaching me.
Ever since then, I’ve been doing the majority of the household chores. I thought they’d start teaching my brothers too once they became like 9-10 but nope, just me, because I had the audacity to be born without a weaner in the middle east, my bad.
House chores are not the main problem, it’s the time I have to spend on them, especially cooking. My brothers (19m) and (11m) simply eat, sleep, play video games, and hang out with their friends when they don’t have school.
I even have to actively clean after them or my dad will start a fight over me being lazy and the house being a mess.
In 2019, I finished ppoly and signed up for uni, I was okay with whatever major I can get but my mom insisted on me being close and not going overseas, and she would pay the tuition.
I was uncomfortable with the idea since I knew how they act around money, but I agreed because I knew they wouldn’t let me go to uni otherwise.
The first year was paid off by my grandma since she gives every grandkid a sum of money for uni/ their wedding. In the second year, my mom started saving up. I got a social media management job which paid $300 a month and I planned to spend it on my expenses (clothing, food, etc) since I didn’t want to ask them for money.
But even before I gave my permission, my parents said they’d “keep it” for me. Around 5 months later, I was supposed to have $500 saved up, but when I checked, it was 120$. I asked about it, and they said they paid half of my tuition with it, and in the end, the money went back to me.
I was pissed and told them I wouldn’t keep my money with them anymore, and that they originally told me they would be paying for my tuition, if they didn’t, I wouldn’t have gotten a major that requires tuition to begin with.
It turned into a fight. My parents and everyone in the family flipped on me, calling me ungrateful and disobedient, even my brat of a brother joined them.
Now, if they needed the money, I would have been okay with it. They say they need the money while spending $500 on a new phone for my brother, getting the youngest a $250 tv, getting family and friends expensive gifts, etc.
I quit the job after a year. I thought if I can’t use my money, why work for it?
Last year my brother got accepted to a uni that costs double my tuition, with a 200$ monthly allowance since he’s studying at a university he likes. I’ve been boiling in my resentment towards them for the blatant favouritism based on gender.
When I later vented about it to my cousin, she also told me I ungrateful. Am I being ungrateful?