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Sunday, October 2, 2022
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PIGEON PANGSAI ON GUY’S NECK AND IT SPLASHED INTO HIS KOPI, PHONE AND SHIRT

Who else here hates pigeons?

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Went to the MRT station to buy ice kopi just now, was happily sipping my ice kopi on the way back when I felt a warm splotch hit the back of my neck.

I swiftly turned around and looked up, and there it was, on a lamp post, its beady eyes staring at me, seemingly mocking me for being the fool that I was.

I’ve never wished to murder something in cold blood as much as I did in that singular moment. After a few moments of cursing in multiple languages, I accepted my L and inspected the damage.

Even though the poop landed on the back of my neck, it managed to splash onto the front of my shirt, a corner of my phone, and to my utter despair, the 1/4 empty $3.80 cup of Ice Kopi I just bought for myself.

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I phoned my dad to ask him to turn on the shower heater and proceeded to continue my walk home looking like a clown after a bad performance.

Netizens’ comments

  • Pigeons are my enemies. I’m on the road all day on my bike and for some fucking reason, pigeons love to fly towards you rather than away
    I’ve smacked my face onto pigeons a few times but they were all minor because I slow down when I see them.
  • If there are known bird feeders in your estate, please take photos and report using the OneService app. Even if you don’t catch the feeding in action, at least show huge flocks of birds feeding, or the amount of poop on the footpath etc.
  • Pigeons are the bane of my life. Maybe I’m just unlucky or pigeons hate me but I’ve been the recipient of their droppings numerous times.
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