I had been dating for almost five years. We had met while we were both in poly, and had grown closer and closer as the years went by.
We agreed that marriage was the next logical step and had started to make plans for the big day when suddenly her parents stepped in and threw a spanner in the works.
My GF had come from a traditional Chinese family and her China parents had always been very conservative.
They had never been particularly keen on the idea of her having a Singaporean boyfriend but had grudgingly accepted it until now. Her parents had suddenly surprised us by demanding I pay them a dowry of $100,000 if we wanted to get married.
Yes in Singapore dollars!
This was a huge shock to me. I had grown up SG culture and had never even heard of such a thing. I had no idea why his parents were asking for such a large sum of money. To me, it felt like a bribe. I was offended and angry at the same time.
My gf was also taken aback by her parents’ demand. She tried to reason with them, explaining that we loved each other and that money had nothing to do with it. But her parents refused to budge. They said that if I didn’t pay the dowry, then our marriage would be a disgrace in their eyes.
I asked why so a huge amount, and her reply made me explode: “Because you Singaporean more money that’s why the amount is higher”.
I was so hurt and confused. I felt like I was being judged on my financial status rather than on my character. I also felt guilty that my relationship with her was causing so much upset. We had no idea what to do.
We eventually decided that the only way forward was to split up or she goes behind her parents back.
But being the traditional PRC woman she refused and we eventually split up.