I am married to a NUS masters degree graduate from China. 4 years and 1 child into the marriage, she has expressed that she is ashamed of me. Because I am not a degree holder, I am not Chinese, I can’t play musical instruments. The fact that I make close to 3 times more than her didn’t help. We haven’t had any forms of intimacy for months and I have noticed that she is very particular about her appearance and also she has been coming home late at times. At these signs of her having an affair now? I was married to my wife four years ago and since then we have been blessed with a beautiful child. As a family, we have been living a very comfortable life together and I am thankful for that.
However, lately, I’ve noticed a change in my wife. She seems more distant and has been coming home late at times. She has also been more conscious of her appearance and taking more time to dress up before going out.
I’m not sure what has been going on, but it’s been noticeable enough for me to take note of it. I am aware that my wife is a NUS masters degree graduate from China and she is quite proud of her education and background.
I, on the other hand, do not have a degree and I am not Chinese. I also cannot play any musical instruments. I am sure this has made her feel ashamed of me at times.
My wife and I have not had any physical intimacy for months. I had been hoping that things would eventually get better, but it seems like they are only getting worse. I am now worried that she might be having an affair.
I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but the signs are all there. I am sure that she is not happy with me and probably feels like she deserves better. I understand that she wants more from life and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy.
The fact that I make close to three times more than her doesn’t help. I know she is proud of her degree, but it doesn’t always translate into financial success. That can be a source of tension between us.
The bottom line is that I want to make things better between us. I want to show her that I am willing to do whatever it takes to make our marriage work. I am willing to learn a musical instrument or go back to school if that’s what she wants.
I don’t want to accuse her of having an affair without any proof. But I am also not blind to the signs. I just hope that I can get to the bottom of this and make things better between us. Only then can I be sure that she is not having an affair.