A woman has shared her story about her Singaporean boyfriend on NUSWhisper Facebook group. According to her post, she would like to seek the opinions of netizen on weather if her boyfriend is a toxic person.
Both of them is engaging in a long-distance relationship due to COVID-19 pandemic. The woman mentioned that her boyfriend has been blaming her for every single thing that went wrong. He will make every sounds like he was faultless.
In her post:
“He says I always start fights but lately I’ve been trying to mind myself and we still end up fighting usually over petty shit and he always blames everything on me. He goes on silent treatment every time and it’s terrible he refuses to talk on the phone so we can work things out (since we are long-distance, for now, he’s in Singapore and I’m stranded in my home country atm) I know I have my shortcomings but idk what to do with my bf anymore I’m really trying my best to make the relationship work I always say sorry first because if I leave him alone he can go days without talking to me or doesn’t mind breaking up for good. He can’t admit to fault he thinks I’m to be blamed for everything.
I keep compromising for the sake of the relationship and he keeps saying I’m crazy. Yes, I do admit I was the toxic partner to one of my exes but I’ve learned from it and do my best to adopt healthy habits but I’m starting to consider that he may be a toxic partner as well considering he thinks he is faultless on everything. He can’t help to “hit back,” he thinks if I hurt him with my words he feels it is right to “hurt me back” because it doesn’t make sense to keep “tolerate hits” from someone who is hurt you.
He came from an abusive relationship and has a “victim” syndrome even if he has is own faults he seems to always tell me if our relationship is on the rocks I’ve done it to myself/to our relationship. Please advice. I really want to make it work and I’m trying so hard to adjust and compromise but I don’t know if it’s me or him who is the problem. I was in the hospital today and I was hurt and I needed him the most instead we got into a fight he said I landed myself in the hospital with my bad decision making and that I’m a waste of money (ironically his ex was worse and downed his money on shit like designer bags and eating at expensive restaurants in SG like it was water, stole his money and left him in debt which he tolerated her for many years but is very critical with me over the few times I invested in skincare, birth control, medicine, hair removal and skins for games we play together) we fought and he dumped me out of spite and is now ignoring me.
I know we love each other we are so compatible- mostly sunny weather together long-distance or otherwise but when we fight it’s so hard to keep it together on my own 🙁 This is a bit one-sided but he does take care of me just when we fight it’s so hard because he knows I won’t leave him! He doesn’t believe me when I say he should work on his attitude towards me as well.”
