A few years ago, my GF (now 27F Wife) practically begged me (28M) to apply for a BTO. I wanted to wait a bit, save up more money, maybe explore resale later, but she gave me the classic ultimate ultimatum: “If you don’t BTO with me now, it means you not serious about our future.” Classic SG relationship guilt trip. So fine, I agreed. We got a 4-room BTO in a decent location. Fast forward through the long wait, renovation stress, and burning a hole in my CPF and savings for the downpayment and reno… we finally got the keys and finished the house earlier this month.
Then the nightmare started.
Right after key collection, while we were still moving our stuff in, her mother started coming over “to help clean.” Then her dad came “to test the plumbing and lights.” Then her younger brother started sleeping over on the sofa because “his current room at home got no AC and too hot.”
Last week, I came home after a brutal 10-hour shift, expecting to relax in my new home, only to see her parents’ luggage and boxes stacked in the guest room. I asked my GF what was going on. She casually dropped the bombshell on me:
“Oh, my parents selling their flat to downsize for retirement funds, so they moving in with us permanently. My brother also coming since he still studying. Family must help family what, why you so stingy?”
WA LAO EH. BRO.
She didn’t discuss this with me BEFORE key collection. Not a single word. She just assumed I would absorb the costs, the crowd, and the total loss of privacy in my own damn house that I paid 50% for! Now her mother is constantly lecturing me about keeping the living room clean, her dad controls the TV remote 24/7, and her brother is eating my food and leaving dishes in the sink. I feel like a tenant paying mortgage in someone else’s house.
I tried speaking to her privately, but she accused me of being unfilial and disrespecting her parents. She even said if I cannot accept them, we should just break up.
If we break up now, the BTO situation is going to be an absolute nightmare. Has anyone dealt with this kind of bait-and-switch before? How to handle without losing my sanity and my money? Matched context, really lost right now.