I’ve been sitting on this since last night and my head is still absolutely spinning.
Met this girl on CMB about a month ago. Everything seemed pretty smooth on paper—good conversations, same age group, similar work hours. We went on three or four dates around town, usually nice cafes or casual dining. I paid for most of it, which I didn’t mind initially because I wanted to be nice.
Last night, we were having dinner near Orchard and the topic shifted to dating dealbreakers and future plans. I mentioned naturally that I value mutual effort and financial practicality, especially given how expensive everything in SG is getting. I said something like, “I really appreciate a partner who is grounded, ready to build towards a BTO together, and doesn’t expect every weekend to be a high-end luxury event.”
She literally paused, took a sip of her $9 matcha latte, looked me dead in the eye and said: “Honestly, since you don’t own a car, do you think you can downgrade your expectations a bit?”
Bro. I was completely stunned. I asked her to clarify because I thought I misheard her.
She proceeded to explain, with full confidence, that in Singapore, a guy in his 30s who drives represents a “baseline level of lifestyle and stability.” According to her, because I take the MRT or grab when needed instead of driving her around, I’m technically “offering less upfront convenience.” Therefore, I shouldn’t expect a girl who puts in effort to dress up to lower her lifestyle standards for me, and I should lower my expectations for what a female partner brings to the table financially or effort-wise.
I sat there staring at her like she just recited quantum physics in Hokkien.
Are we living in the same reality? COE for Category A/B is literally six figures right now! Buying a basic Japanese sedan costs $160k to $200k easily over 10 years, not even counting parking, petrol, insurance, and ERP. Choosing not to throw $2,000 a month down the drain for a depreciating metal box in a country with world-class public transport means I’m saving for a home and actual long-term investments. Somehow in her head, financial prudence equals “low value,” so I must “discount” what I hope for in a partner?
I didn’t even argue. I just paid the bill, told her I don’t think our core values align, and walked straight to the MRT station.
Is the local dating scene really this brainrotted now, or did I just hit the lottery on pure entitlement? Absolutely unreal.