SHY GUY DON’T DARE TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WHENEVER HE IS TALKING TO CHIO BUs

Eye contact when talking to girls

I don’t really have much experience talking to people in general. So recently i was talking to a female colleague of mine.

Me being the poo-say i am, it was very hard for me to remain eye contact WHILE talking. I feel that it is very uncomfortable especially when you are trying to think of what to say during the conversation while trying to remain eye contact.

Do yall have any tips on trying to remain eye contact especially with someone you find attractive?

Also, is there an appropriate amount of eye contact one should have?

Netizens’ comments

1. i cant even make eye contact with my best friends! it’s that bad. when im thinking, i look up as if im looking at my brain/thoughts. eye contact is so so difficult for me
2. This doesn’t just apply to girls but everyone, when you’re talking, occasionally divert your attention to something in your surroundings for a while, and look back at the person you’re talking to. This can be done a few times to prevent yourself from constantly staring at someone throughout a conversation. Some suitable hand gestures and head tilts when talking helps, but this isn’t easily demonstrated in a comment so you could look up some Youtube videos on that.
   If you’re having this problem specifically when talking to girls, then it’s important to realise not to put someone on a pedestal. They’re also another human being with hopes, dreams and desires just like us, not some special person you’re so concerned with their opinion of you. It makes you less confident in talking since you’re constantly thinking about how you should behave a certain way rather than really being in the conversation in the moment.
   If you find yourself being nervous, slow down your breathing and take some deep breathes, which help to calm yourself down.
3. I tend to avoid eye contact when talking to a female. Like I will make eye contact but I would say like 20-40% of the time. My eyes will dart left and right above their face level.
4. Eh, it’s not always a must to maintain eye contact. If fact, it may be counter productive if you’re not that close to the other person. Sometimes it can feel a bit aggressive too.
   Look at the end of nose, but once in a while shift to the nose bridge and back. Don’t look at the lips because it’s a precursor to a kiss.
5. Eye contact is more important in western culture, it’s kinda a show of sincerity/interest for us, but it can be uncomfortable even for westerners. Don’t worry too much about it here.