Need to vent and see if I’m the unreasonable one here, because my blood is absolutely boiling right now.
My parents are getting on in age (both late 70s). I’m the younger one, living together with them in our 4-room HDB flat in Ang Mo Kio. My older sibling left the house about 10 years ago after a huge row with my parents over some money issue. Since then? Totally vanished. No Chinese New Year visit, no birthday dinners, never even texted to ask if my parents are alive or dead. When my dad was hospitalized for heart bypass 4 years ago, I texted. Answer was literally: “Busy with work, call me if he’s dying.”
For the past decade, every single thing fell on me. Taking them for polyclinic checkups, managing their Medisave, cooking dinner, changing bulbs, enduring their old-folks nagging, buying groceries—you name it. I literally put my own life on hold, couldn’t BTO, and stayed behind just so my parents don’t age alone in an empty house.
Fast forward to last week. My dad had a mild stroke, and we were talking about legacy planning and updating their will. Suddenly, out of nowhere, my sibling shows up at the hospital ward like a ghost returning for Qing Ming.
First thing out of their mouth after the pleasantries? “So what’s the plan for the house next time? Should be 50/50 right? We are both their children after all.”
I was so stunned I couldn’t even speak.
50/50?! For 10 years you treat our parents like strangers, didn’t contribute a single cent to the conservancy fees, town council charges, or medical bills, and now you want to casually walk away with $250k–$300k worth of HDB sales proceeds?
My parents are typical old-school, soft-hearted Singaporean parents. They don’t want to create conflict, so my dad actually whispered to me later, “Just give lah, sibling is still blood.” But honestly, I feel extremely unfair. It’s not even about the money; it’s about the sheer audacity and zero effort put into filial piety.
Is this standard Singaporean family drama? Should I convince my parents to write a proper will giving my sibling a minimal cut, or am I being selfish for wanting a bigger share?
Any advice on how to handle this kind of shameless freeloading sibling without causing my parents extra stress?