I’m currently working two jobs but still struggling to make ends meet and today, I started considering stealing and shoplifting…
I’m in a toxic relationship, working two jobs and basically being a single mom to not just my infant son but to my deadbeat baby’s father whose parents were pretty much funding his whole life style
I came home one day after work to the home in a complete mess. my son hadn’t been changed and my ex had left him and had just basically neglected him all day.
I lost it and pretty much told him I was sick of him, sick of him blowing away money and not taking care of our son. it ended with him screaming at me and pushing me into a wall and he kicked me in the stomach.
he screamed at me how ugly I was, how used and worthless I am and I just had enough. I ended up taking my son and leaving.
Im on the hunt for either a full time higher paying job, or at least a second part time job that will pay me more. Its been tough.
I still don’t make enough for a 1 bedroom unit for me and my son to share. I dont know if my ex will ever pay child support (I had to change my phone number so my ex couldnt find me).
Im just so tired. I legitimately contemplated stealing a pair of socks when I was buying my son a new tub of milk because he was running low.
Im wearing some strangers socks (at least they were washed) because I left with the clothes on my back and my son’s diaper bag. I have nothing to my name besides what was in my purse when we left.
I am so tired of waking up from having nightmares of my ex kicking me in the stomach again. I want to be able to buy a new bra or a burger without being worried that it’ll put me in the negative.
I want to be able to buy my son brand new clothes (ones that fit because he’s out growing the three different outfits I have to cycle through)
I would never steal and I didnt do it today because the last thing I need is a shoplifting charge against me but goddamn I cant wait for this nightmare to be over.
Ive had anxiety dreams over winning the lottery and just…starting fresh with my son and never looking back and never being involved with his crappy father.
I know it’ll be a miracle if I ever see a cent of child support once it’s all said and done but it is so sad and makes me feel like a piece of shit mother for struggling to buy just the bare necessities for my son and not even being able to buy myself a pair of new socks
I dont know where I was going with this but I know a lot of people reached out and I guess I wanted to give an update on every thing. Here’s to hoping life gives me a break and I can take a breather and maybe one day find myself out of this mess