I lost my husband 8 weeks ago, he had cancer and it got treated then it came back. It was and still is so devastating, I’m trying to stay collected and welcoming to all the supportive family members who come to offer help despite my constant change in mood due to grief.
My sister is the most supportive one, although her husband would act inappropriately sometimes, especially after he told me after the funeral that now I’m “burden” free and can “live my life” given I was my husband’s sole carer. I try to let go of those comments thinking he didn’t know better.
He, my sister, and my family came to visit last week. They cooked dinner for me and kept me company for a bit. After dinner, my brother in law asked for a minute with me inside the kitchen. He started telling about a coworker of his who’s single then went on to list everything good about him.
I was confused as to why he was telling me all that. he then reached out for his pant pocket and pulled a piece of paper with his co worker’s phone number on it telling me to give him a call sometime. I was floored I couldn’t really tell if he was joking or what but he looked serious and kept insisting I take the number. I lost it, I just started yelling at him that my husband just died and he was out of his mind to try to hook me up with a coworker of his. He tried to explain that it wasn’t like that and that he was just offering me something helpful but I didn’t know what he meant. I called him disrespectful then yelled at him to get out of my house. My sister and the others ran into the kitchen not knowing what was going on, I told them then pressured him to leave my house but my sister asked that I calm down but I couldn’t.
He left then my sister left quietly.
After I’d calmed down I sat with my family and they said I was right in that what he did was not okay, but I needed to keep in mind that he and my sister helped so much by cooking for me, comforting me and doing so much for me in these difficult times so, I shouldn’t have reacted like that and could’ve been a little more considerate and graceful. They said kicking him out was too much and I should call him later and talk things out so I won’t ruin my relationship with him and possibly my sister.
It’s been days and I haven’t called and my sister hasn’t visited or called which means she is upset with me and now I’m beginning to think they’re most likely hurt because I acted ungrateful after everything they’ve done for me.