I’m skinny and boyfriend watches SUPER CURVY “videos” of other women (24F, 22M)
Let me start by saying I’m naturally very slim and I struggle to put on weight. My bra size is an A cup, and my bottom half is nothing special either.
I never gave it much thought, until my first boyfriend broke up with me. He cheated on me, and when I asked him why, he proceeded to tell me (and I quote) “Your body doesn’t turn me on. By the time you’re 21, your shape will fill out and be perfect.”
Well, I’ve passed 21 now, and I still look the same as when I was 16. Over the years, I’ve heard similar insulting comments many times over by men, and hearing “you’re not hot” in all its wonderful forms has really driven my confidence into the dirt. But enough with my sob story.
I found a wonderful partner, and I’ve been dating him for nearly a year. I was afraid to get naked with him, but eventually with his reassurance, I felt less insecure. Recently though, we don’t “do it” as often, it has gotten significantly less frequent and when we do he takes longer to finish.
Around this time, I also noticed he was taking extremely long trips to the bathroom while we were in the middle of hanging out together. Out of concern, I asked if everything was okay, and he told me he’s been constipated (how lovely)… I took that at face value for a while.
After weeks of this, I got curious and listened by the bathroom door while he was in there and heard moaning on his phone. I’m not against playing with yourself, but I found it insulting that when we were literally in the middle of watching a movie and eating dinner together, he left to go do that.
That brings us to today… I was sitting at our desk opening some bills and he told me I can pay them on his phone, which isn’t unusual for us since he has the apps to do it. Usually, he has no tabs open but THIS TIME as you can probably guess, there was a big old “video” staring me in the face.
The woman in it had a MAMMOTH chest and ass. The polar opposite of my physique.
I had this sick feeling in my stomach, and impulsively pressed the history button. You know that feeling when you know it’s bad, but you can’t stop?
I scrolled and scrolled. And there is was displayed. Day after day, week and week of videos and ALL of the women (literally every single one) had the same body type. Cartoonishly proportioned ultra voluptuous curves.
Clearly he has a type.
I haven’t mentioned the bathroom or the phone situation to him. I’ve put on a smile and tried to pull myself together but it stings a lot.
I would have felt a bit better if the women were varied: you know some thin, some curvy, some in between. But he actively searches for that body type every time.
I’m back to feeling rejected, not good enough, and ultimately not sexy.
I’m tempted to let him be free and find someone who really gets his motors running, since that’s what he’s apparently lusting for, but we otherwise have a great connection and loving towards each other so I’m torn.
I’m in need of some advice on how to proceed. It may sound silly but I’m really heartbroken about this discovery given my past. Male and female perspectives appreciated.