It’s a stupid thing to ask I know. But my mom’s been an important person in my life and I’m not sure if perhaps I overreacted. I (26m) met my soon-to-be wife Amy (25f) 7 years ago and she has an 11 months old son(Jason) and she broke up with his dad already. I love Jason as my own son and that’s how I see him.
He calls his dad “Dad/Daddy” and me “Pa.” My mom didn’t like the idea of me being with someone who already had a kid with someone else. We fought about that during the first 2 years of the relationship until I threatened to stop talking if she doesn’t accept Amy and Jason in my life. So she let it go and didn’t bring it up ever again.
I proposed 4 months ago. We’re supposed to get married in March. My mon offered to pay for half of the wedding and we accepted. The issue was my mom saying Jason shouldn’t be at the wedding because it would be just as weird as if her ex was there. We were both confused by that logic. Jason’s a huge part of our lives, it’s our wedding so of course he’s gonna be part of it. That was a hard no from both of us.
She tried to bring it up more times until finally she pulled the “I’m paying for your wedding so I’m allowed to decide ” card. That’s the part that got me the most. Is she wanted to use the fact that she’s helping to pay to keep our 8 year old from being there at our wedding. I paid her back the money she gave us for the wedding and told her she’s also not invited. Now she keeps calling crying that I’m her only son and it would be heartless keeping her from being part of this huge milestone in her life.
To her it’s not the same if Jason missed it because he’s a kid not a parent. My family is on my side about her going too far wanting to exclude my son but they do think I’m a bad son if she’s not invited since I already gave her the money back so she has no say in anything. I’m just so mad about it and don’t wanna see her after she tried to control things like that.
Did I do the right thing?
Here are what netizens think:
your mother is acting like a monster to a literal child. Hope she kicks the bucket soon, why would you want such a nasty and hateful person anywhere near your son or your future wife on such an important day? You did the right thing.
My first thought was I would never let her watch my child. If she acts like that to their face, imagine how she would treat him when it’s just her. I’m not suggesting she would physically abuse him, but he definitely wouldn’t enjoy being around her.
He is not and will not be safe around her. She cannot be allowed in his airspace at all, ever. She will do irretrievable harm. Please hear me.