A Singaporean Indian Woman shared on Facebook on how she grew up being stereotyped and on the receiving end of racist and insensitive comments.
Here is what she stated in her Facebook post.
Recently there have been a few articles online about incidents that have been called out for racism. When I read through the comments, majority feel that the minorities are being too sensitive and that ‘We can’t say anything anymore’ ‘Everything we say is considered racist’.
Hence, I just want to share my experiences as an Indian Singaporean. Maybe you guys can tell me if I’ve been ‘too sensitive’ all my life?
I was 5. One fine day I went to the playground as usual. A group of children were already there. Being the introvert I am, I was minding my own business and playing alone at one side of the playground. Suddenly I heard shouts ‘Apu Neh Neh, Eeeee Apu Neh Neh!’ I continued playing as I had no idea that these words were aimed at me. A boy came in front of me, and did the ‘Indian head shake’. And he said ‘Go away you dirty Apu Neh Neh’. I ran to my mum and cried but I wasn’t sure why. Later that night, I asked my mum what Apu Neh Neh was. She looked at me and asked how I knew that word. I told her about the incident. She said she didn’t know what it means, but next time people say that to you just ignore them.
So in school, when my classmate said ‘Dont touch me or I will become black too.’ I ignored him. When my teacher said ‘You speak well, but you are too ‘dark’ to perform on stage.’ I ignored her.
But in Secondary School, things could not be ignored anymore. I was the only Indian in the whole school. Needless to say, I had zero friends. They called me the ‘Black woman of 1E’. I even had a special song about me which was inspired by Baa Baa Black Sheep. At the canteen, no one would sit with me. When I sat on the bench the other kids will say Eeee and move away. Eventually I would just sit alone in the garden and eat there. I cried everyday and told my mum I didn’t want to go back to school. I was flunking almost every subject. My mum could see how depressed I was in school and came to school to talk to the Teachers, to no avail. Teachers just didn’t bother. Eventually she sent me to a family counsellor. I told her everything and how the other pupils were being racist towards me.
Guess what the counsellor said? Are you sure they are racists? That is a very strong word to use. Are you just being too sensitive?
Oh Yes lady. I’m pretty sure that the song ‘Baa Baa Black Woman, you are so not cool. Apu Neh Neh Apu Neh Neh, Keling Kia’ (Sang in the tune of Baa Baa Black Sheep) is NOT racist and I’m being ‘Too sensitive’. And YES I did tell her about this song.
You see Facebook users, you might think that these are just words. And we are being too sensitive. these are just harmless comments. What you don’t understand as a majority is that, it is ISOLATING. It is hard enough to look different from everyone else. We are already conscious about it. But when u further isolate us, highlight the fact that we are different and make derogatory comments jus so you can be the joker and ‘fit in’, think about how we feel. After all, how is one lone 13 year old girl going to fight against thousands of students and teachers who ostracise her on a daily basis?
So after a year, my mum finally transferred me to a school that was further away and beneath my PSLE score. I finally had friends and I thrived there and was one of the top students in the school.
After JC and when I entered the working world, I eventually grew a pretty thick skin towards these comments. I learnt to expect and dodge them. I know that as Indian minorities we don’t get as many job and rental opportunities as people prefer ‘Mandarin Speaking’ employers and tenants. I get that. That’s just a preference. Just like some people don’t hire PRCs for various reasons.
I graduated and started working. I became close to 5 colleagues. 4 were Chinese and one Eurasian. We were close and would hang out after school and on weekends. We were good friends but they seemed to enjoy joking about my race. Their nickname for me was Mama P***** (Tamil vulgarity). There were also other names like the famous aforementioned Apu Neh Neh, and Keling. When it went too far and I called out their racism, they just said they were joking and I am too sensitive. Fine. By then I was mostly desensitised to all this anyway. So one day they were just joking around and all 5 of them were really going at it with the ‘Blackie’ jokes. There was a Caucasian guy who joined us for the day. After hearing their jokes he said jokingly, ‘Hey atleast she’s not yellow like you.. I’d rather be Indian than yellow.’ There was absolute silence. When the silence broke, they said ‘Hey I’m not yellow. That is very racist. Don’t ever say that again’ etc. I am not condoning what he said but I was seriously shocked by their hypocrisy. If its just a joke, shouldn’t you be able to take the exact same joke too?
So you see my fellow Singaporeans, you seem to be confused by the term ‘Chinese Privilege’. Perhaps ‘Majority privilege’ will make it easier for you to understand.
Imagine if you will, you are born in a country where YOU are the minority. Isolation and bullying starts young, when u are called names and ostracised at the playground. In schools, people call you derogatory names and tells everyone not to be friends with you. Teachers are also racist. In the working world, you don’t get jobs when people see your Chinese surname. Taxis don’t stop for you but stop for the White person behind you. They judge you based on your race, dont give you a chance. Even before you speak, they label you. And you know your innocent children are going to go through the exact same thing.
And really, please don’t tell us to go back to INDIA if we are not happy here. That’s like telling a Chinese Singaporean to go back to PRC. WE ARE AS SINGAPOREAN AS YOU.
The cycle continues. The other day, I brought my son to the playground. He was playing on the slides when a bigger boy turned to my 2 year old son and said, go away Apu Neh Neh. I immediately went to my son and said ‘Give him some space, he probably needs it. I turned to the bigger boy said, ‘Hi, please don’t say such words. If you need more space, you can let my son know and he will move.’ His father came and I informed him what his child said. Without batting an eye, his father said, he’s just a child. He doesn’t mean it.
Really?? If he’s just a child how does he know that term? Drop from the sky into his brain? I rue the day when my son asks me what Apu Neh Neh means. I don’t even know till now even tho it has been used multiple times on me. Neh im assuming is short for Ah Neh? And Neh Neh just happens to be breast/nipples in Chinese??
It’s 2020 now. Dear Singaporeans, please teach your
children well. Teach them to be sensitive and inclusive of everyone. Judging people by their race, religion, colour, even size etc is not right. And teach them to be courageous and brave, stand up for what is right and not join the ‘Silent Majority’.
Source: Storence