My car, my rights. Any wrong with that?
My husband has a gg to 15yo son from his 1st marriage. And we have a 6yo son. I owned a car where I used it for both work and personal. He used to have a car for work but it was scraped off recently after 1.5y.
Before he has his own car, I used to lend him my car to fetch and send his elder son from his home(west) to our home(north). When his son was 13yo, I realized he has developed BO. I believed it is due to puberty. And his BO actually STAINED my seatbelt. I could smell it even when I’m at driver seat. The reason why it was stained partly also because his son loves to put the seatbelt UNDER his armpit instead of across the shoulder. I told my hub about it but he just laughed it off. I’m sort of a cleanliness freak. And very sensitive to smell. I took many days to find ways to clear off that smell. And so happen, due to work requirements, he needs to have his own car. Hence, I was happy for 1.5y that his son is not taking my car.
I urged my hub before to talk to him and also his ex to let the son have some self awareness regarding his problem. Apparently they don’t see it as an issue and did not let the son know even till now.
So now the problem came, before my hub’s car was scraped off, I already outright told him I’m not lending my car anymore due to the BO issue. He did not acknowledge. The day came when he needs to go meet his son (it’s an every weekend thing btw), he asked if he could lend my car. I told him the same reason and he was angry. He said I’m unreasonable and even tried to gaslight me and said no matter what he’s also half my son. I explained but that it’s MY car, I have my rights to lend or not right? I paid for everything for my car. I didn’t stop him from coming to our house already but Why must I 委屈 myself and bring convenience to his son? When they dirtied the car / house, I’m the one who does the cleaning. Not them. I even told him I can talk to his son if he don’t know how to say. And he got angrier. Apparently he dislike me commenting his son. He rather lie about the reason why he can’t use my car instead of telling the truth. I don’t understand such a big boy yet so spoilt till cannot take public transport? I told my hub he can always take a cab / rent a car to send him home if he think he can afford. He’s out of job btw. Worse case he can ask his ex to lend him her car to send their son.
I am so upset and disappointed with this marriage. I felt my life is so depressing. I did so much sacrifice for him, look after him when he met an accident. Always accommodating him and even support him financially with my years of hard earned saving despite im not a high earner.
After so many years, I still feel his 1st son is of more of priority than us. If he think he owes his son a lot due to their divorce, how about me? I sacrificed even more for him.
He asked me to go and ask other people if I’m right to do such thing? So I’m writing here to see what have I done wrong with my own thing?
My Car, my rights? Isn’t it?